words in movies
Phoebe: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Ross: You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness.
Rachel: Ohh wow! Im sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
Chandler: Love your condoms my man.
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
The Croupier: Comin' out. Place your bet. (Monica does so.) Dice are out. (The woman next to Monica rolls the dice.) Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! (Monica won and doubled the chip.)
Chandler: Are you sure you weren't (pause) looking at your hands in a mirror?
The Flight Attendant: (To Rachel) Thank you! (Not sure of herself) Enjoy your flight?
Ross: No. They swoop in and steal your jackpot.
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Ross: Your what?
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Monica: Pick a number! That is your only job!
Monica: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
Joey: Yeah, well, you don't have your racket.
Monica: Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, youre supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Chandler: There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?
Rachel: NO! (pause) Or, cut!You know, that's your call!
RACHEL: So, uh, how was your day?
Joey: No, its not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!
MONICA: You've got to get back out there, it's your party.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Hotel Clerk: I think you'll find this room more to your liking.
CHANDLER: Hey, what did your agent say?
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
CHANDLER: Work on your music?
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
ROSS: What? What's on your shoulder?
Joey: No, no, no, no! Hes fine! Look, look, look! (picks up the ball) Heres your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! (he throws the ball and it bounces right next to the dog) Get your ball! My God, what have I done to you, huh? I broke the dog! Pheebs, I broke the dog!
PHOEBE: Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off.
Lewis: No hes not! Hes totally yanking your chain! Hes done this with three other teachers!
Emily: Really?! Well, thats just lovely, isnt it? I mustve missed your call, even though I didnt leave the flat all day.
Phoebe: You mean you stole it! (Monica sneezes again) Don't cover your mouth when you do that!
Ross: Im sorry about your date.
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Joey: Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother.
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Chandler: I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot?
Monica: Ok, it's 2100 hours. (to Phoebe) Time for your toast. (Mike appears)
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
CHANDLER: Your just, your just clearly not familiar with our young persons vernacular. See, when we say dad, we mean buddy. We mean pal.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
ROSS: Excuse me, your, your, your wind?
Monica: Heres your key (Gets him one.)
Dr. Green: Well why not? So you can spend your time with this tramp?!
The Cute Guy: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
Rachel: Ugh, the worse day! Yknow, you think youre making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
Monica: Youre getting a crush on your sisters fianc�e.
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross cant answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?!
Ross: It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, (he thumbs up) whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field.
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
Rachel: Oh right, cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play Wipe-out on your butt cheeks.
Ross: Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are not getting back together!
Chandler: It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive.
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Chandler: Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume?
Phoebe: Eh, Monica it, it feels so weird, y'know, Chandlers your friend... (hops onto the bed) Oh! Oh my God! Aw, all right take this bed, you can make other friends.
CHANDLER: You burn your mouth?
Ross: Yes, but I don't wanna die in your cab!
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Monica: Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine.
Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.
MONICA: I'll help you fix your sweater.
Monica: Just dont pick up your phone.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
CHANDLER: Your last roommate's kidney?
Tommy: Can-can we take a look at your ticket?
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Doctor Connelly: Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
RACHEL: Here are your cakes.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Phoebe: Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us!
Joey: How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed?
Joey: Oh, okay. Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?
Hombre Man: Your territory, huh?
Chandler: You do realise that's your brother?
Ross: C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact!
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
Rachel: Hmm. (she opens the freezer) Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Rachel: Not even with your best friend.