words in movies
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
JOEY: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
CHANDLER: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
JOEY: You gave him cookies?
CHANDLER: Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
ROSS: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies?
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
JOEY: C'mon show us what you bought. . . You know you want to.
PHOEBE: Happy Christmas Eve Eve. [sees Ross's picture frame] Oh my God, where did you get this?
PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.
RACHEL: How have you never been on Oprah?
PHOEBE: Just, you know, to see... um.
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, sure, yeah. [gets a box with the pictures] This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation. . . another graduation. . . another graduation.
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
MONICA: How do you know exactly what she's going through?
ROSS: Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping?
MONICA: You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're ya gonna do?
CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
JOEY: Monica, pigeons learn faster that you.
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
PHOEBE: Alright, here, you have to hold this. [hands Chandler a piece of paper]
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
RACHEL: Did you just break the radiator?
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
MR. TREEGER: Uhh, you said there was a party.
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
ROSS: No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now?
ROSS: You mean hardball?
MONICA: So, wait, you really did like my cookies?
MR. TREEGER: Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared.
PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
JOEY: Phoebs, that's OK. You took a big step today.
JOEY: Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you.
PHOEBE: You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
ROSS: Are you OK?
JOEY: Rach, these are for you.
JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
PHOEBE: You guuuyys.
ROSS: You got me a cola drink?
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
Monica: You just stay here! (Dumps a jar of bath salts in the bathtub)
Joey: Thank you! (He goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Richard: So Monica let me ask you a question. Yknow, since we broke up do you ever, think about me?
MONICA: What can we do for you?
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Phoebe: I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Monica: You got the job?! Why didnt you tell me?
Ross: All right, Ill see you tonight.
PHOEBE: Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. She wants to know what's wrong?
Chandler: What stupid thing did you do?
Joey: (singing) "Happy birthday to you!"
Aurora: Thank you.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Mark: Here, let me. (answers phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you?
Phoebe: Youre Elizabeths father, huh? I can see now where she gets her rugged handsomeness.
Chandler: You.
Rachel: Well, you know, no suds, no save.
Aurora: You have me!
Monica: I cannot believe you broke up with her just like that.
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.
Joey: Look, do you want the ring or not?!
JOEY: Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
Policeman: Yeah? Well you look phenomenal.
DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!
Rachel: Are you drunk?!
Rachel: Do you even understand what off the rack means?!
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
Ross: Thank you for bringing her into our lives.
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Chandler: There you go!
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Will: Could you also tell them Im skinny now?
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
Phoebe: Roll playing You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!
Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!
Chandler: Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.
Monica: I thought you could use the help.
Monica: You did not go!
RACH: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Joey: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?
Rachel: You don't.
Rachel: You do?
Joey: You and Rachel.
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Rachel: If you hold a spider.
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
Rachel: Uh-huh. No, I hear what youre saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? (Takes out his picture.) Look how pretty!
Joey: So, you and Angela, huh?
PHOEBE: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Joey: Are you going to do it?
Joey: Do you want any help?
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Ross: One more time, "Hey, dont you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?"
Chandler: Why are you wearing my apron?
Monica: Oh wait.. What are you doing?
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.
Rachel: (still searching) Oh, I know... I know it's been really hard for you.
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
Monica: Oh, okay. Here, why dont you let me do it?
Monica: No, you are not. We tell you stuff.
MRS GREEN: [laughing] You have some life here, sweetie.
Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that?
Chandler: Because thats the only part of you he can see when hes on the table!
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Kim: No-no-no, we'll move you just stay right there. (They walk away.)
Joey: All right Chandler, youre up.
Rachel: All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!
Pete: Oh, youre welcome. (He takes a deep breath)
Rachel: Okay, you are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset! I mean, listen! (She hits a button on the machine.)
Monica: Oh, you two must have been so cute running around on a barge.
Ross: No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.
Monica: Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Jill: Are you alright?
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Chandler: (gasping) Yes... thank you. That was... that was....
Rachel: Where the hell've you been?
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
Monica: (shocked) I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Janine: Yeah well, do you guys wanna come too?
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.