words in movies
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Rachel: Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
Chandler: Are you aware that you're still talking?
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Rachel: Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
Phoebe: Of course you don't sweetie. You're brand new.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head up a dead animal.
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Joey: (turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!
Chandler: (laughing) You did look like an idiot.
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Mrs. Geller: You too sweethart!
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
Ross: All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind.
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Fat Monica: No. No, thank you!
Mr. Geller: Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full!
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you called her fat.
Ross: I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.
Mrs. Geller: So Rachel, your mom tells me you changed your major again.
Chandler: You just, you look so different! Terrific! That dress! That body!
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
Monica: So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
Rachel: Then, you will definitely get him back!
Rachel: Okay, oh, here's what you do. Just act like everything around you turns you on.
Monica: What do you mean?
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Chandler: Are you all right?
Ross: Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it!
The Doctor: Did you bring the toe?
The Doctor: You brought a carrot.
Rachel: You brought a carrot?!
Chandler: That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: You love me!
Phoebe: Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.
Chandler: Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Chandler: I dont care, this is our apartment! And they stoleyou stole itour apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. Im getting back right now!
Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?
Rachel: (notices Jills bags) Jill! Did you shop?!
Chandler: Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.
Phoebe: You got fake numbered.
ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Rachel: No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have?
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Ross: You ducked!!
Phoebe: Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.
Ross: Hey! What do you guys think about this. "Ross: The Divorce-Force".
Chandler: You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest?
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Ross: I know! I know. You know what? Im putting Ruth back on the table!
Monica: You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.
Ross: Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire?
CHANDLER: Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery?
Danny: Come on, you got the shopping bags and the Sack's catalog.
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Rachel: And if you need anything else, I(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.
Rachel: Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work.
Phoebe: And youre so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And youre kind (kisses him on the lips)
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Phoebe: Okay, good. There you go. Doesnt anyone feel better?
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Young Ethan: I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen.
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Joey: Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
Chandler and Joey: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
The Producer: Ill let you two guys get acquainted, huh? (Walks away.)
Zack: Thanks! Do you have a coaster? I don't wanna make a ring.
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Monica: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Rachel: Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him.
Ross: Ma, youre asking me to marry you?
Mike: (raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over.
Issac: Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine?
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Ross: Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged!
Ross: I don't know you guys.
Joey: (sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Joey: Its the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, (To Chandler) and you?
RACHEL: Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Rachel: Ah, first, I-I would like to say thank you for agreeing to see me again.
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Joey: Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Chandler: Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flames.
Mike: Oh! Why don't you introduce me?
Monica: (pauses then on the phone) Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back?
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
Phoebe: Forget her! You enjoy this!! (Pulls him back up and starts applauding again. Joey waves and does a salute.]
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Tall Guy: Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancingOh! Take her dancing!
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
Chandler: Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want.
Rachel: Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars?