words in movies
Monica: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because...
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?
Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)
Ross: Thank you.
Rachel: Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you.
Prospective nanny: Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. (she starts playing with her hair) Do you guys do random drug testing?
Prospective nanny: That's cool. But... but if you do, I'm gonna need three days notice.
Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here.
David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow!
Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Monica: Maybe he didn't give you a chance.
Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no...
Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!
Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am.
Monica: What are you gonna do?
Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...
Monica: You have to tell David!
Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters)
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there?
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Ross: You gotta be at least bi...
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
Joey: Without that, you just got "lame with women".
Monica: Hi! There you are.
David: Wow, you look even... more beautiful than you did yesterday.
David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.)
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you.
David: Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy?
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
David: Well... just so you know... hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival either... Can we at least hug goodbye?
Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate...
Sandy: You know, I can't tell it again... (wipes his tears again)
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
Ross: Thank you!
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
Joey: Really? Do you not know Chandler?
Joey: So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything)
Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)
Chandler: What are you guys talking about?
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Monica: Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica wipes away tears)
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Chandler: Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically, but then gets serious again...)
Monica: Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey.
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Mike: Did you uhm...
David: Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. (he points at Mike)
David: Why? Wh-What are you going to do about it?
Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap)
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
Mike: Hey, what are you kidding me?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Rachel: You know, he was just doing his job...
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...
Ross: Thank you!
Sandy: (In a puppet voice) So you see Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to shaaaaaaare...
Joey: (kind of emotional) I am learning so much from you.
Monica: Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore.
Chandler: Really...? See... that's the thing: you gotta keep it smart, people!
Monica: Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Joey: Allright. See you later!
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Rachel: (from behind the bedroom door) YOU! You feel!
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Sandy: Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best.
Rachel: (from bedroom) Oh, damn you Geller!
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is?
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Sandy: But you are a real boy!
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Joey: Wow! You blow my mind...
Joey: Aaahh... How much do I owe you?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Chandler: Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with?
Monica: Wow! Youre a lot sturdier that Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was youre trip?
Joey: What do you mean?
Monica: If the school finds out youre fired.
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.
Chandler: Yeah! All right! You go first.
Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Chandler: Joey told you about the leg, huh?
Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen.
Joey: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
Phoebe: What? You mean behind my back?
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
Chandler: Who did you originally want to hook up with?
Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys.
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
Rachel: I guess you don't.
Phoebe: Yeah, in the back. You want a quarter?
Chandler: Well, you can understand, given how we started.
The Grip: Hey pal, are you Joey Tribbiani?
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
RACHEL: Wow.� So, what did you guys do?
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Tom: So, which one of you lovely ladies am I going to take to dinner huh?
Dr. Green: Youre still going to that chiropractor, that man couldnt get into medical school in Extapa!
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Chandler: I mean, you have a lovely home.
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Mona: So it was really cool seeing you lecture today.
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
Joey: Just okayDid you do it right?!
Monica: Oh, we weren't talking about you. No, no way to recover.
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Rachel: (laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Ross: Why are you mad at me?
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better?
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head up a dead animal.
Ross: You kissed her.
Monica: You serious?!
Chandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?
Ross: You slept with my sister?
Phoebe: I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
Rachel: Oh yeah well, you know me, babies, responsibilities, ahhh!!!
Monica: Oh, youre totally welcome! Whatd she say?
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Ross: Noo, nnnnn. What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Janice: Why are you shopping here? You don't live in this neighborhood. Were you here waiting for me?
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Paolo: Uh, Racquela tell me you massage, eh?
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Monica: You got it from Pottery Barn?!
Ross: You like it?
Joey: All right, watch me! (he takes a full container of milk from the fridge) Okay, you time me. Ready?
Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Ross: It's what you want. You should go.
Chandler: No, no, you got zero points for 'IDNEY'.
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Monica: Im gonna miss you! (They hug.)
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So thats dumb what I said, dont tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
Chandler: Now imagine you live at the supermarket.
Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?
Chandler: Do you want me to be afraid of you?
Joey: I, um, can't tell you.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
Monica: Wait! Youre supposed to wear a costume!
ROSS: Rach, come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on, Rach. You got to give me another chance.
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Monica: Well what did you send?
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Janine: Thanks. (To Monica and Ross) Great so we can all go together! I gotta run. Catch you later!
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh! You are?
Ross: You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I.
Monica: Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?!
GUNTHER: There you go.
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
Joey: Yeah. You know why? Cause you came to me first.
Joey: Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
Chandler: What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!