words in movies
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Phoebe: I hope its you.
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
Chandler: Whatd you rent?
Ross: Dude, you didnt say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if thats what you want
Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you?!
Phoebe: Because this one is now! And-and its two of our best friends! Who knows what youre gonna marry!
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Chandler: Well, is there any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
Rachel: (shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!!
Phoebe: See? This is exactly why you shouldnt lie!
Rachel: How come you are?!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: Hey there, you handsome thing. (Rachel and Phoebe exit.)
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Joey: Fine! Do you want something to drink?
Ross: Sure, what do you got?
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: Can you figure out what Im doing?
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?!
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Joey: Okay, all right, this is how its going to work. Were gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: Thank you judges.
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: Ah, uh, I owe you a long overdue apology. I never should have broken up with you because you were overweight.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
Chandler: Id carry you around in my pocket.
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Rachel: You do? Why?
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Rachel: But Pheebs, yknow you earned it.
Phoebe: Its fine. I mean, this is something that youve been thinking about since you were what, 14? (Shes referring to the Halloween picture.)
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
RUSS: Actually, I'm a... kind of a.... you know, a... date-type... thing... of Rachel's.
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Ross: You-you just said that you did!
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
The Flight Attendant: (To Ross) Hope you had a nice flight.
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
Monica: Yeah. And yknow, if you wanna cry, thats okay too.
Phoebe: So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your (provocatively) special someone?
Secretary: You have a Miss Monica Geller here.
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.
JOEY: So what're you guys gonna eat?
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Monica: (entering) Phoebe? (Phoebe comes back into the living room) Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Uncle Dan: Heres a little something to get you started. (Hands them a check)
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
Rachel: I dont want you to see me naked!
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Chandler: I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!
Phoebe: Will you excuse us, we need to talk for a moment.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Monica: So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.
Rachel: Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just dont get along?
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
CHANDLER: How do you know that? How?
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Rachel: OhhDo you think he will?!
Phoebe: Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we wont be partners. So whats it gonna be?
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Rachel: How come you didn't come over earlier?
Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?
Rachel: Well, can't you just go to Vermont the next day?
Rachel: Oh my God!! You guys have such problems!! I feel so terrible for you!
Mrs. Burkart: Oh, good. Thank you.
Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
Ross: Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Rachel: (Gasps) Phoebe are you serious?
Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job!
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Phoebe: Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?
Rachel: (sympathetic) Ohh. So you raised her all on your own?
Doug: (entering) Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. (Chandler does not laugh.) Did you hear what I said Bing?
Ross: Maybe. But it wouldnt hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
The Stripper: You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.
Phoebe Sr: Oh gosh, Lily, yes. Of course I remember Lily. I... Then you must be?
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Ross: Yes I-I am. In fact umm hey, why dont we try it my special way? You can dance on my feet.
Leslie: Aw, youre right, youre right. Im sorry.
Teacher: May I help you?
Monica: Yes you did! You did like a little hop.
Ross: You get the dollhouse.
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Monica: Can you go any faster with that?
RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Ross: You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part.
Joey: (sitting in a chair) Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won.
PHOEBE: Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
Kathy: Thank you!
Monica: I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want!
Ross: Ah. Joey youre-youre having lunch with my mom?
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Joey: Well, theres really only one thing you can do.
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Ross: No! No! Im not! Its-its-its perfect! I mean its better than you just-just moving here, cause its us together forever, and thats-thats what I want.
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
Phoebe: (looks at Monica) Hey, yknow what might cheer you up?
Casey: Here you go.
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Chandler: Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monicas gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me?
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
Chandler: Hey, shut up!! Youre not my real Mom!!
STRANGER: Hey, how, how did you do that?
Monica: No! Steady as a rock! Now, are you with me.
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Monica: You guys are dead, I am so good at lighting rounds.
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
Joey: You know what you shouldve done, you should have told yourself that little story.
Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?
Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page!
Chandler: You mean like, music?
Chandler: Really?! You do that?
Chandler: SoYou got in voluntarily?!
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.