words in movies
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
Phoebe: Oh you you made pesto?
Phoebe: Would you say your pesto is the best-o?
Tim: You are so talented.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Mr. Franklin: Youre a joker Bing. (Walks away.)
Ross: (running up) Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting so long.
Chandler: Hey thats okay. So, where do you want to go?
Ross: Oh ah, I think you know where I want to go.
Ross: Im telling you, I like the food!
Chandler: You like the Purple Rain display! (A guy walks up.) Hey Bob.
Ross: Did that guy just call you Toby?
Ross: Well, why dont you correct him?
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Ross: Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him!
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Rachel: You dont know do you?
Joey: Hey you too!
Joey: What? You werent in it.
Kash: Hey! How come I havent seen you here before?
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Phoebe: But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please?
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Joey: Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming.
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I think Im gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?
Joey: What? I I just figured since youre pregnant youre not gonna be seeing people.
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
Mr. Franklin: Oh then you know each other.
Mr. Franklin: What do you think of adding him to our team?
Mr. Franklin: Okay, I hear you loud and clear. Bob will stay put.
Chandler: Yknow what you should do, just toss em in the shedder and claim you never got em.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, but you cant fire him today.
Monica: What?! You said he was sweet!
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Phoebe: Then he comes over! (Mimicking him) "Im so worried about you." Uck! Be a man!
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Monica: What do you mean?
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
Bob: Hey Toby, you got a sec?
Rachel: Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why Im not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, Im a recovering alcoholic. Im a Mormon," or "I got so hammered last night Im still a little drunk?"
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Ross: Rach? You wanna come?
Rachel: Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you?
Ross: You set her up?!
Ross: Joey what-what were you thinking?!
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Ross: Hi. I-I hear youre going on a ferry tonight.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
Kash: Hey Rachel! You ready to go?
Rachel: Yeah! All right, Ill see you guys later.
Ross: Okay. Have a great time you guys.
Rachel: Thank you.
Kash: Thank you.
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.
Tim: Its because Im with you.
Phoebe: Oh-oh no she doesnt! I know what that is. You can stay.
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Joey: Well Ross, what did you think she was gonna do?
Joey: What do you mean?
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Joey: Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Joey: Hey, I tell you what. Lets you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on!
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Chandler: Okay Bob listen uhh, Im the reason you didnt get the job up here.
Bob: Toby! Im not gonna let you cover for him. Anything you say right now will just get me more upset with Chandler!
Tim: Oh its great! Its great! Thank you so much for introducing us!
Monica: (simultaneously) Youre fired!
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Im breaking up with you!
Phoebe: Im, Im breaking up with you.
Monica: Youre fired.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Tim: Thank you so much! Cause I-I know I can do better!
Rachel: Well Im alone and I just bought fifteen dollars worth of candy bars, what do you think?
Rachel: Well better than you, but yknow still not what you want.
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Ross: You wanna, you wanna grab some coffee?
Ross: Hey, I thought I cheered you up.
Rachel: Oh you did, there are twenty in here.
Ross: Wow! Uh how are you?
Mona: Im good except umm, you still owe me a dance.
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
Mona: (laughs then stops) Oh youre serious. Sure!
Chandler: (entering) Bob. Bob! Bob!!! (He turns around) What the hell are you doing?!
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
Bitter woman: Why don't you like me! Chapter one: my first period.
Chandler: (nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up!
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Chandler: Well, its because I trust you, youre one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.
Zack: No it's just tiring having to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died. I'll see you tomorrow.
Joey: (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin in or movin out?
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
Allesandro: Why? So you could hang up on me?
Chandler: You couldn't have at least changed your shirt.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I dont believe it! Oh, you poor bunny.
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.
Phoebe: (singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name?
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
Monica: Okay, all right, I think youre great, I think youre sweet, and youre smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me.
Gary: (To Phoebe) So you wanna get some dinner?
Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?
Monica: So that marriage stuff that you were saying yesterday, you dont really believe that do you?
Rachel: Okay. (pause).(acting) Hello Drake, I'm surprised to see you here.
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
Chandler: Well, I-I-I'm done with this. You want anything Ross? Sports? International? Apartment listings?
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Phoebe: Oh well, all right um, no offense, but you were kind of rude.
Rachel: Aw what are you?! A detective?
Chandler: All right, yknow what? Forget it, all of you forget it! Youve ruined it! Go home! Youve ruined it! Youve ruined it!
Ross: Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers.
Janice: (starting to cry) Do you have any tissues?
Monica: Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe.
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Phoebe: Umm, hes here to have sex with you.
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think itd be really good.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about a handshake? (She goes to shake his hand but misses and touches his groin.) Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch thatI mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you soHey! I'll see you Monday! (Exits.)
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Phoebe: (to Joey) You wouldn’t let her have a grape?
Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time.
Joey: Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye?
Rachel: Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross?
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
Rachel: Nooo! Nooooo! You lent me Monica's earrings?! I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff!
Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey: No, I wasnt gonna ask you that, no.
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Monica: Wait a minute...Joey. Joey you can't ask her out, she's your roommate. It-it'll be way too complicated.
Ross: Jen, I know this may sound a little (makes some kind of crazy noise) But uh, would you maybe wanna grab a cup of coffee sometime, or
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Jill: (awkwardly) Would you like to call somebody? (offering phone)
Ross: (hugs him) And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me.
Rachel: Do you got your gracious loser face?
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
Ross: Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent.
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Zack: You guys have such a great place here.
Ross: (laughs) You dont-you dont want to hear about my dream Officer Pretty?
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Chandler: Couldnt sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldnt sleep. Yknow? I was like, if I fall asleep now Ill get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now Ill get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldnt fall asleep.
Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, moving on, moving on, next question. Ok number 29, have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightning bearer? Ok, number 30.
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, You dont have insurance here, so stop calling us.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.
Ross: No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade.
Rachel: (touched) You would do that? I never get picked!
Chandler: Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment.
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
Rachel: Honey, come on! You live far away! You're not related. You lift right out.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Phoebe: Umm, this stuffing is amazing. Do you think we should bring them some?
Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.
Chandler: Okay, what do you guys think?
Rachel: Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth.
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Chandler: So where are you applying to?
Monica: (noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?
JOEY: Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?