words in movies
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Monica: Youre kidding!
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Rachel: Op! Youre peeping!
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Monica: What do you mean?
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Phoebe: That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Chandler: You dont even have a car!
Chandler: There you are.
Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?
Guy #2: Well, Ill see you later.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Judge: Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment?
Judge: So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.
Rachel: Well, you would know.
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
Judge: And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since youre gay and addicted to heroin.
Judge: Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.
Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Passerby: Maybe because youve got the keys?
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporters machine!!
Ross: The judge wouldnt let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Phoebe: (exhausted) How do you feel?
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh honey thank God youre home, I was getting worried.
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
Ross: Youre right. Thats very different. So lets, lets just sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing there.) What?
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Joey: Hey! How you doin?
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Rachel: No, Ive just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, were gonna destroy you.
Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.
Monica: Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?
Monica: Did you eat all the neighbor candy?!
ERICA: I should just be happy to be near you.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now.
JOEY: Oh, now you're tellin' us how you feel.
Joey: You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?
Monica: Hey, cheer up! Youre gonna see her again, right?
Phoebe: So, what should you have done?
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
Aurora: (gets up to leave) Well, call me if you change your mind.
Rachel: You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesnt even fit you anymore!
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now youre making Sophie uncomfortable!
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Ross: So what're you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
Joey: (still very puzzled) Oh, yeah... of course... yeah... it's a stuffed animal... you know... it's for kids... not for adults... I know that!
Rachel: Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.
Monica: Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! Im kidding!
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Rachel: Just so you know... With us... it's never off the table. (she enters her room and closes the door.)
Frank: Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes...
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
Ross: Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea?
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Phoebe: Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing.
Chandler: Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us.
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
Chandler: Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression.
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Mischa: Hes says, Walking with you makes this strange city, feel like home.
Ross: Damn, I forgot you were here.
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Phoebe: Okay, you know where you are better than I do. I was just curious.
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Phoebe: Hey listen let me ask you, do you believe in soul mates?
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
Chandler: You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
ESTL: Stop saying you're not talented, you're very talented. It's just with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left. Oh, honey, give me a break, will ya? [a knock on the door] Oooh, ooh, I'll talk to you later.
Ross: I have no idea. I mean But-but I assure you I will figure it out.
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Joey: So, between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross, it just isnt going to happen. It would be like you falling in love with a cat.
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Rachel: Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over.
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!
Molly: No, you stay, I'll do it (takes Emma from Rachel).
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Oh, hey, dont you have to go pick up Emily?
Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Chandler: Well, you manheads aren't any better. You lied about going to the game. You knew it would make you late, and you still went anyway.
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
Joey: All right Ross youre in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".
Monica: Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much?
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Rachel: I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
Chandler: WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Dream Monica: Y'know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you honey!
Gavin: Yeah! But you said not to worry about...
ALISON: Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher wanted"?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, well! But umm, still Im-Im mad at you.
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Amanda: Ooh, that accident must have been terrible. You look positively ghastly.
Supervisor: So, I think youre ready to sell toner, do you have any last questions?
Chandler: Oh yknow what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you.
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh