words in movies
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Ross: people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up.
Phoebe: oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.
Ross: you know I really admire your whole dating attitude, it's so healthy I'm always like is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going?
Phoebe: yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen.
Ross: but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious.
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Ross: I know and yet here you are all ready for the next date.
Ross: no, no, no there's nothing wrong with you I mean you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Ross: do you have a compact in your purse?
Ross: you look great.
Joey: Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think?
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?
Joey: oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him.
Joey: oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. (Nods)
Monica:: how do you know I have one of those?
Hayley: oh I thought you said Hi.
Hayley: I would love to go out with you.
Joey: really, great, did I actually ask you?
Hayley: no that's just where you were going I just figured that I'd help you out, you don't seem like the kind of guy that does this very a lot.
Joey: (turns round again) seriously Gunther you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! (Gunther looks scared)
Phoebe: well it was awful every time I thought about what you said I started crying.
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Phoebe: well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?
Hayley: (laughs) your welcome again, I'm gonna make some coffee can I get you anything?
Joey: do you have any cake?
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Ross: yeah I really, really need to talk to you about something.
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Ross: oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset.
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Mike: I'm not blowing her off, I actually just got off the phone with her, were going out tomorrow night, I mean I hope that's ok with you stranger from the coffee house.
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Mike: hey wait wait wait wait wait! Is that true what you said Phoebe's never had a serious relationship?
Mike: but you did say it
Rachel: Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.
Rachel: well watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing?
Monica:: do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that, believe me I know what he was doing.
Rachel: man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
Monica:: Eww are you talking about my bother.
Monica:: But you don't remember sleeping with her.
Joey: yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know.
Rachel: what, how do we know, we never slept with you.
Monica:: what's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night
Monica:: Honey why don't you just let it go and ask her out again.
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.
Monica:: you don't think sharks are sexy do you?
Phoebe: What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS!
Ross: oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that.
Ross: umm. that you had a six year long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
Phoebe: Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called.
Joey: Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me?
Joey: How could you not remember that we slept together?
Hayley: I really, really think I would remember sleeping with you
Joey: come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
Joey: Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. (Turns back to Hayley) so were good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out.
Phoebe: .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Phoebe: I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer.
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
Mike: and you don't have to worry about glue sniffing with me. although I do smell the occasional magic marker, yeah ah anyway I just think I can make you happy.
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: so you don't think I'm a total freak
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Phoebe: I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again (they get closer to kiss and Phoebe pulls back) and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers.
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Monica:: Ok (sits down next to him) This is how much I love you. (She presses play then puts her arm around Chandler's neck.)
Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier.
Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.
Monica:: Honey look we can do something else, do you want me to get into the tub and thrash.
Monica:: sweetie it's ok, I still love you, let me be a part of this.
Monica:: I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. angry sharks turn you on!
Monica:: then why were you watching them and giving YOURSELF a treat.
Chandler: OH MY GOD! When you came in I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn
Monica:: I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! (They hug)
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Phoebe: Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.
Chandler: Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Chandler: I dont care, this is our apartment! And they stoleyou stole itour apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. Im getting back right now!
Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?
Rachel: (notices Jills bags) Jill! Did you shop?!
Chandler: Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.
Phoebe: You got fake numbered.
ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Rachel: No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have?
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Ross: You ducked!!
Phoebe: Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.
Ross: Hey! What do you guys think about this. "Ross: The Divorce-Force".
Chandler: You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest?
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Ross: I know! I know. You know what? Im putting Ruth back on the table!
Monica: You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.
Ross: Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire?
CHANDLER: Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery?
Danny: Come on, you got the shopping bags and the Sack's catalog.
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Rachel: And if you need anything else, I(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.
Rachel: Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work.
Phoebe: And youre so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And youre kind (kisses him on the lips)
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Phoebe: Okay, good. There you go. Doesnt anyone feel better?
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Young Ethan: I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen.
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Joey: Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
Chandler and Joey: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
The Producer: Ill let you two guys get acquainted, huh? (Walks away.)
Zack: Thanks! Do you have a coaster? I don't wanna make a ring.
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Monica: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Rachel: Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him.
Ross: Ma, youre asking me to marry you?
Mike: (raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over.
Issac: Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine?
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Ross: Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged!
Ross: I don't know you guys.
Joey: (sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Joey: Its the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, (To Chandler) and you?
RACHEL: Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Rachel: Ah, first, I-I would like to say thank you for agreeing to see me again.
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Joey: Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Chandler: Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flames.
Mike: Oh! Why don't you introduce me?
Monica: (pauses then on the phone) Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back?
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
Phoebe: Forget her! You enjoy this!! (Pulls him back up and starts applauding again. Joey waves and does a salute.]
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Tall Guy: Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancingOh! Take her dancing!
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
Chandler: Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want.
Rachel: Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars?