words in movies
Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.
Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.
Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.
Monica: What did they do to you?
Phoebe: It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...
Monica: We're with you. We got it.
Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.
Monica: Do you all promise?
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.
Alan: I've heard schho much about all you guyschh!
Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?
Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?
All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.
Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.
Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?
Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)
Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?
Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.
Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?
Phoebe: No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks.
Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
Joey: Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"?
Ross: You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.
Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!
Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?
Ross: Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?
Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?
Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!
Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?
Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.
Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.
Monica: He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)
Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.)
Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!
MNCA: Nothing, just never seen you in little stretchy pants before.
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
ROSS: Woah. Huh. You know about my, I mean, you know I had... you know?
Monica: Oh, thank you. Would you like a tour?
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay. Umm, yknow, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy youre marrying.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Gary: Oh it's nothing, it just says that you can't sue the city if you scrap your knee or y'know, get your head blown off.
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
PHOE: You don't see it? You actually don't see it?
Phoebe: Wher-where have you been?
Chandler: Why dont you just give him to somebody else?
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
Chandler: Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay?
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
ROSS: Good for you.
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
RACHEL: You know.
RACHEL: Thank you. So are we good?
ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man.
MONICA: Are you sure this time?
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Woman At The Wedding: Why wont you take our picture?
Director: And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs)
Phoebe: Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?
Phoebe: Oh! Joey uh, were you in our room last night?
CHANDLER: May I help you?
ROSS: Hi, Julie. [nervous] Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you?
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
CHAN: What are you doing out there?
ROSS: You were in a porno?
Phoebe: No wait! JustOkayJust wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Dont make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
ROSS: What're you talkin' about?
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
DR. BURKE: You too.
MNCA: OK, I'll see you later babe.
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
Chandler: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You cant just stare through the peep hole for three hours! Youre gonna get peep eye!
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
RACHEL: You know, actually it's more like, hi.
Joey: Where have you been?
CHANDLER: You, you are gonna love this.
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
Joey: So I guess you all saw it.
Elizabeth: Do you want to ride around town on my little pink bicycle?
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?
Kori: And you are...
Rachel: Ugh, the worse day! Yknow, you think youre making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
Monica: I think so. Se, he-he's not inviting you to his party because he likes you.
Rachel: You guys, Im doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try.
Ross: What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.
MACHINE: Here comes the beep, you know what to do.
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
JOEY: Who said it was for you?
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe)
RACH: Good. How are you?
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
Monica: Yeah, good for you. Y'know you're tough, you lived on the streets.
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
PHOEBE: Are you crazy?
Monica: I know youre planning my surprise bridal shower.
Chandler: Okay! (They kiss) So, what do you girls have planned for tonight?
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Monica: Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca loungers gone?! This is the best day ever! (Runs out.)
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
RACHEL: How did you make $17.
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Ross: Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six.
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
(Joey has a "Yeah you do" smile on his face)
Phoebe: She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
ROSS: Thank you.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
RACHEL: Yeah. Who's workin' for you babe?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: No, no dont get mad because lookthis is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.