words in movies
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Monica: Youre not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over...
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Billy Crystal: Im sorry. Ex-excuse us. Im sorry, its a little crowded. Do you mind if we... (motions to the couch)
Robin Williams: Yeah, could you scooch?
Billy: How do you know?
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Petes...
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Joey: (to Billy) So youre the gynaecologist?
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Phoebe: So Monica, what were you gonna tell us?
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Monica: So you can like, bite, and pull peoples hair and stuff?
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Ross: (stunned) Dude, what are you doing?
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Phoebe: Yeesh, whatd you do about it?
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something?
Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Pete: I told you, were adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
Monica: Promise me youll be careful.
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Bonnie: I can show you an ID if you want?
Rachel: Oh no, Im sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you.
Phoebe: (to Bonnie) Well I hope you have fun tonight.
Bonnie: Thanks! You too.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
Rachel: How could you not tell me that she has hair?
Phoebe: Well Im sorry, I thought you said it was okay.
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Chandler: Well, thats not true, he-he smacked you once.
Phil: Not on purpose, he ricocheted of you and got me.
Stevens: Im telling you, I need some smacks. I got a kid starting Dartmouth in the fall.
Doug: (coming out of his office) Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing?
Doug: There you go. (smacks him on the butt)
Monica: I love you, Pete!!!
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Pete: It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant You suck!
Monica: I mean I-I thought you were nuts at first, but you-you did it. And now you can just look back at this thing with no regrets.
Monica: Well, youre not gonna get going are you?
Pete: Well let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Monica: You didnt know that already?
Pete: Look, Im gonna get better. Okay? I promise you.
Pete: Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Phoebe: Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else?
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Doug: (turning around) Bing! You got those numbers for me?
Doug: Oh, you forgot?
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Chandler: Im a little bit uncomfortable with the that way you express yourself.
Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
Chandler: No, no. It-its not about the swearing, its more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock.
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
Phoebe: Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Phoebe: You said it was okay!
Rachel: You said she was bald!!
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
Monica: Please tell me youre stopping now.
Monica: You are insane! You-you gotta give this up!
Pete: I cant until Im the ultimate fighter. I will do it. Im telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, Im not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
Monica: Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!!
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
Pete: Well if youre asking me to quit, then youre asking me to be someone Im not. Ive got to do this.
Pete: Could you leave a note? Cause Im on a lot of pain killers now, and I dont know if Ill remember this tomorrow. (She leaves.)
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Chandler: Thank you, sir.
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Doug: Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Dont you?
Doug: Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt)
Chandler: Run! Run you crazy, rich freak!
Ross: So how many more do you have tomorrow?
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Chandler: Yeah, I heard you and Rachel talking.
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Ross: Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her.
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Barry: You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren't happy. But with Mindy, now I'm happy. Spit.
Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.
Monica: Wouldnt you be?
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
Ross: Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer?
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Michelle: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?
MONICA: You flicked me first.
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Ross: No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest.
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
CHANDLER: Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey)
Phoebe: Okay Ive got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla?
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
MONICA: Thank you.
CHAN: It's my game. You want the job or not?
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.
Ross: Come on sweetie! Youve had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time?
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Chandler: Which is why you should do it.
RACHEL: You want me to talk you out of it?
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
Doctor Connelly: Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis.
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
Nina: You wanted to see me?
Rachel: No, you know what, I think you should go.
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Passerby: Maybe because youve got the keys?
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
CHANDLER: Well there you go.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
Chandler: Yes! See you and I have always been like(motions that they think the same.)
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Ross: Im not proving anything. Okay, Im done listening to you. If I hadnt let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place, I never wouldve put my fist through the wall!
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building...
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....
PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.
Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
Ross: What are you talking about?
Ross: You know how close women can get.
Ross: No thank you for Thank you.
MONICA: No. See you don't understand.
Ross: Oh, yeah I know, I know, it's a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here.
RICHARD: Thank you.
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you!
Rachel: I know, I still need to talk to you.
Ross: So uhh, you ready?
Chandler: I hope she throws up on you.
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
CHANDLER: Thank you.
Phoebe: That is so sweet, you guys. (hugs them)
Mrs. Waltham: No, Im bored with you now. Im going to cut you off. (She hangs up.)
Monica: All right, sweetie that's fine. You didn't do it on purpose.
Kim: No. No! You're doing great! Dont you give up! That's why we didn't tell you and we're not gonna drag you down with us.
CHANDLER: Look Eddie, aren't you forgetting anything?
Pete: No! Look, I was gonna tell you this over dinner, but I met somebody else. On my trip.