words in movies
Ross: Hey! What are you guys looking at?
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe youd be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.)
Rachel: You. Like you havent done enough.
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Rachel: They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby." Well yknow what? Screw em! If they dont want me there, Ill just hang out with you guys.
Phoebe: Or you can do volunteer work.
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Phoebe: Youre on!
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Phoebe: Fine! Youre on!
Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why dont you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there.
Ross: Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctors keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
Ross: Fine! Fine! Yknow what? Whatever you want. Okay? Youre the mommy.
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Rachel: Can I ask you something?
Rachel: were you this irritating?
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
Rachel: Hi Dr. Long, how are you?
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Dr. Long: You must be a little uncomfortable.
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
Dr. Long: Actually, theyre things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience Ive found that some of them are quite effective.
Dr. Long: Okay, theres an herbal tea you can drink.
Dr. Long: You can take some caster oil, theres eating spicy foods
Ross: Youve got to be kidding me!
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Monica: Wait a minute! Now Im betting against all three of you?
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Joey: (in a baby voice) Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Chandler: Do you want a calculator?
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.
Rachel: Make love? What are you a girl?
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys?
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Phoebe: Thank you!
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Monica: (following her) Ill give you really good odds.
Joey: All right, all right maybe-maybe you should just ask her to leave.
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Chandler: All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday?
Monica: Ok, um, I'll go with you.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Mr. Thompson: So glad you brought someone.
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Phoebe: Hell yeah! Ill marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.)
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Joey: Yeah, you dont want that.
Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
Phoebe: Would you say your pesto is the best-o?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Chandler: What did you just do?
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
Mrs. Waltham: Oh yes, there you are.
Rachel: You were with Julie?
Sleep Clinic Worker: Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. (Joey doesnt answer) Uh, sir? (Joey starts snoring)
Chandler: Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Phoebe: What? You know about the plate thing?
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Phoebe: Well, if you think it will help.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Rachel: I love you too. (They hug.)
Phoebe: (checking her watch) You did it!
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Joey: (With Big Eyes.) All right, youre right. Ill talk to her.
Ross: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
BEST MAN: What, (to Barry) you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. (gets a 'da-doom-chesh' from the drummer) Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...
Monica: You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Rachel: What-what, wait a minute, you don't think that's why he wants me back?
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
CHANDLER: You or me?
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Dr. Mitchell: ..you add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference.
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Matthew Ashford: It was nice to meet you Rachel.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Chandler: Okay! You dont think I thought of that?
ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: Well, there you go.
Doug: Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?
Joey: Oh nowHey Ross-Ross! Do you wanna-wanna come in for a beer or something?
MONICA: Did you ever, uh, like, think about the future?
PHOEBE: Really? You can actually see it?
MONICA: You don't have any stuff.
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Paul: You two were married?!
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
MR A: Oh, that's all right, although you did cut into my busy day of sitting.
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Monica: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.
Mona: Im good except umm, you still owe me a dance.
Joey: Come on man, you know Id do it for you! Because, youre my best friend.
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.
Phoebe: Well, if you don't know I can't help you.
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Monica: Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing?
MONICA: You made it!
Chandler: Well you should be. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater.
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
RACHEL: Thank you.
Chandler: How do you know so much about this?
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: Frankie? What're you talking about?
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
Ross: people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up.
Monica: Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.
Joey: Yes! Yes! You did and youre still yelling at me!
PHOEBE: Well, you have to go back in.
ROSS: You comin'?