words in movies
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Mrs. Green: Well all right. Ill see you at four.
Monica: Thank you. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: Hey Joe! You wanna shoot some hoops?
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Ross: Well do you want some help?
Joey: Oh really? Thatd be great! You guys can be the contestants!
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.
Joey: I should know that. Lets see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wango card determines whether you go higher or lower.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Monica: Yes, thank you so much. And again, were so sorry. We could not feel worse about it.
Monica: Phoebe, Sandras mad at you too. It-it doesnt bother you?
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Mrs. Green: I just had the greatest idea! Im gonna come live with you!
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Joey: All right Ross youre in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
Joey: Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris Holy cow, thats a big word. Trisc Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
Joey: All right Chandler, youre up.
Ross: Yknow what? Youre just upset because youre losing.
Joey: All right. Chandler, you can either spin the wheel or pick a Google card.
Joey: Choose, you jackass!
Joey: Okay, you picked the Gimmie card! You get all of Rosss points!
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
Phoebe: She cant hear you.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Rachel: Mom thats okay that you didnt get you a gift!
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Phoebe: Okay, come on Rach its present time! Yknow youre the glue thats holding this whole party together. Its kinda falling apart here.
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Woman: No! Its where you put the dirty ones!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Mrs. Green: Oh youre gonna do that ten times a day?
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Mrs. Green: You cant leave a baby alone!
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Joey: (To Chandler) In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We dont need no stinkin badges!"
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
Joey: Correct again! But, you forgot to switch legs between questions, so no hopping bonus!
Joey: Are you sure?
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Rachel: Wait-wait where are you going? Where are you going?
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Joey: (announcer voice) Its a pleasure to meet you Ray.
Ray: Whenever youre ready.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Ray: Uh Joey, didnt your agents give you the revised rules? Weve eliminated all of that. No wheel, no cards.
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Ross: Yknow what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, its not absolutely vital that you live with us.
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Ross: Yes! Yes, youre gonna be so missed.
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Ross: Im telling you.
Rachel: Thank you. (Hugs him.)
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Monica: Yknow what? Youre-youre right.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Monica: Thats right! Maybe its time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady old lady lady!
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Phoebe: You should be!
Monica: Yeah could-could-could you get me something to drink?
Phoebe: You got it!
Ross: You sure?
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Ross: Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Ross: Excellent! Excellent, now-now do you want another question or a Wicked Wango card?
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)
Joey: Come on man! (To Gary) Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up?
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
MR. WINEBURG: It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
Joey: Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!
RACHEL: I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry.
Rachel: Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM?
Monica: (watching a happy couple walk by, arm in arm) Would you look at them. Am I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid.
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Monica: Do you hear something? (Chandlers stands up and goes to the door to look out from the peephole)
Monica: Thanks, Im set. Do you still live with your parents?
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Rachel: Right, I'll see you guys later...
Chandler: Youre turning into a women.
Ross: Did I do something to you?
Monica: Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
Mona: Hey, you guys could arm wrestle.
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Phoebe: (doesnt have any luck) Umm, is-is that because youre out of toner?
Rachel: I'm gonna throw this away, but thank you so much for the gesture!
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Joey: Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. (Makes like he's juggling.) Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone
Phoebe: Noooo!! Damn you ref! You burn in hell!!!
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Joey: I just want you to say it once in a while.
Monica: Okay, while were waiting for these pills to kick in, Im gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, Im gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And ImSit down(She sits down on the couch)gonna make you some tea. And then, Im gonna rub your feet.
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Phoebe: You told me you hate massages!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. You can do it to. (tries to do it, but cant)
Chandler: Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good!
ROSS: Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
Phoebe: So youre not homesick yet?
Joey: It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry.
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
ROSS: I was saving you.
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: How bad you wanna smoke, right now.
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Joey: Thats great, but isnt it gonna bother that people still think youre a porn star?
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Clerk: You need to fill out this form. (motions for the next person in line)
Ross: (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?
Phoebe: You cook naked?
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
CHANDLER: (softly) Can you . . . hear him . . . now?
David: Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didnt think you were coming.
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Joey: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Monica: Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen!
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Conan: You could actually see him trying not to fall down.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
MONICA: Alright, but I'm very excited about this OK, so you gotta promise you won't get all big-brothery and judgmental.
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Rachel: No, Ive just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, were gonna destroy you.
Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.
Monica: Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?
Monica: Did you eat all the neighbor candy?!
ERICA: I should just be happy to be near you.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now.
JOEY: Oh, now you're tellin' us how you feel.
Joey: You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?
Monica: Hey, cheer up! Youre gonna see her again, right?
Phoebe: So, what should you have done?
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
Aurora: (gets up to leave) Well, call me if you change your mind.
Rachel: You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesnt even fit you anymore!
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now youre making Sophie uncomfortable!
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?