words in movies
Ross: Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.
Ross: Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here?
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Ross: Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
Joey: (sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?
Chandler: Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place?
Monica: Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too!
Monica: Here you go! What do you think about centerpieces?
Joey: (sitting up again) Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, Im gonna get cranky!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Ross: Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!
Joey: Sweepin. Why? Turn you on?
Rachel: Joey, did you my face cream?
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
Rachel: Joey, (nervously) where did you learn that word?
Joey: Where do you think, (pause) Zelda?
Rachel: (gasps) You found my book?!
Rachel: Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Joey: You got porn!
Ross: Can I, can I help you with something?
Woman: Well, I dont know. Are you a masseur?
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Mrs. Geller: So Chandler, youre parents mustve been thrilled when you told them you were engaged.
Monica: Oh dad, really you dont need to
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Monica: What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund dont you?
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Monica: You bought the beach house when I was 23!
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Ross: Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Phoebe: (gasps) My God! What did you order?!
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Rachel: Do you even understand what off the rack means?!
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Monica: Whoa!!! Are you kidding me?!
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Chandler: Well, youre not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding?
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
Joey: Hey Rach, do you smell smoke?
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Ross: (sitting down) Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Rachel: Yknow, I can not believe you told him, Joey!
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?
Rachel: Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Phoebe: He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Ross: Hey, yknow what? This is your fault! Youre the one that didnt move his-his appointment.
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Ross: He said he liked that!! Oh youre right, youre right. Im sorry.
Joey: Dude, what are you massaging an old man for?
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Monica: You do?!
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Monica: Oh, youre so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Monica: You thought about that?
Monica: What else did you think about?
Chandler: Sure you do.
Monica: No, I want everything you just said. I want a marriage.
Chandler: You sure?
Chandler: I love you so much.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.
Rachel: Who are you supposed to be?
Rachel: Do you even know what a vicar is?
Rachel: (sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Joey: Hey-hey, youre startin to sound like the butchers wife there in-in chapter seven.
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?
Rachel: You can?
Rachel: Wow! Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building before?
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
Chandler: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?
Phoebe: (returning) Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!
CHANDLER: Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
Rachel: Joey, youre such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Phoebe: Okay, how do you feel now?
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
Chandler: How did you? How? How?
Monica: Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Joey: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Monica: Youll see.
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Chandler: Oh we did, and you still have all your lamps.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Rachel: Do you remember where the duck food is?
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
PHOEBE: You wanna try it again?
Joey: You have Knicks tickets?
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Ross: Oh, now you want a favour?
Frank: Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you?
Monica: Hey, dont mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop.
Rachel: How?! How do you know?
FBOB: I think you may have a drinking problem.
Monica: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?
Mrs. Waltham: Lovely to meet you.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Joey: What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? (Joey closes his eyes and walks around with arms spread.)
Rachel: Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Joey: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?!
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Rachel: (seeing him) Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there.
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Gunther: Jij spreekt Nederlands? Dat is te gek. Heb je familie daar? (Translation: You speak Dutch That's cool. Do you have relatives there?)
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Guy: You wouldn't return my calls, you sent back my letters....
Chandler: What do you mean?
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
Chandler: You put your fist through the wall?
Chandler: Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it!
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Monica: I knew you were not okay with that.
Chandler: Yeah you are!!
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Monica: Yep, yep...You?
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Ross: Exactly. So you didnt, didnt mention anything to Issac right?
Erica: Thank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't believe I'm here!
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
MONICA: So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag. [walks off]
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
Monica: Y'know what, you can play with my dollhouse.
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
Tour Guide: You mean Dr. Geller?
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Phoebe: Did you stop Rachel?