words in movies
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Phoebe: (running out) Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second?
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
Phoebe: Well then youd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go! (Bangs on the roof again and off they go.)
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
Monica: Of course! Joey wouldnt let you have one?
Monica: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him youre moving out?
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that no human can transcribe.)
Monica: Joey, we have something to tell you.
Joey: Oh my God! Youre pregnant!
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
Monica: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door, pauses, and turns back.) Like youd believe that. This sucks!
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
Monica: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
Phoebe: (gasps) Youre pregnant!
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Ross: Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times?
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Ross: And if you wait right here, Ill go get Ross. (Phoebe grabs his arm and prevents him from escaping.)
Monica: Ugh, I thought you were Rachel!
Chandler: Wow that was my scariest voice! Youre very brave.
Rachel: Ugh, the worse day! Yknow, you think youre making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Chandler: Well, I-I still think youre very-very nice and very pretty
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Rachel: And Chandler, youre gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel cant be late.
Monica: (singing) Well be waiting for you
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you think ladies? Who wouldnt be interested? Who wouldnt want to date him?
Phoebe: Okay, what about you? (Points to Karin) Wouldnt you want a date?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Whatever! What about you Meg?
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her.
Phoebe: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!!
Ross: (to the panel) Look, Im sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just dont want to be divorced three times.
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Meg: Okay now I wouldnt date you because you seem a little creepy.
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Chandler: You just said Of course youre my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though?
Monica: These arent for you! Are you upset?
Monica: Rach, theres something uh, important I have to tell you.
Rachel: (gasps) Are you pregnant?!
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
Monica: Okay. Dont you want a cookie?
Monica: Maybe, do you need a tissue?
Rachel: Monica, where did you get these?!
Joey: God, its gonna so weird like when I come home and youre not here. Yknow? No more Joey and Chans. No more J and Cs. "You wanna go over to Joey and Chandlers?" "Cant, its not there."
Chandler: And youre upset because you didnt make your best friend cry?
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Russell: You got married again.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
Russell: (interrupting) Im sorry, is this the same Rachel whos name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Russell: I see. Have you considered therapy?
Russell: And well need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind.
Russell: And well need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
Monica: Yknow, no point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long process of you moving out and us not living together anymore.
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
Monica: But still, its a big change. The end of an era, you might say!
Rachel: Are you okay? Youre not blinking.
Monica: An era is defined as a significant period of time. Now, it was significant to me, maybe it wasnt significant to you!
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Monica: Im gonna miss you! (They hug.)
Phoebe: So? Did you get the annulment?
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Rachel: Thank you.
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens) Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! (slams phone down, then leans back and realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
Chandler: Oh, hey, when she gets here, is it ok if I introduce you two as "my wife" and "the woman who's carrying my child"? (she's not amused) No? Divorce?
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Charlie: So, why did you break up?
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go.
Ross: (laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators?
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Rachel: Make love? What are you a girl?
Ross: No. No-no. No. What would you do next?
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. Im family, Im it. Now, now Im done. (starts to leave)
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Monica: What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day.
Mrs. Burkart: (singing) Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those peepers? Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those eyes?
Matthew: Well thank for coming here, its good to see you.
Chandler: Do you want a calculator?
Rachel: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Ross: It's old, it's definitely old. Didn't you hear the, the double beep?
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was!
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Joey: Well youre whippin so slow! Cant you do it any faster?
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Rachel: Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious ...
Chandler: Stop it! Youre killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
Monica: And what are you laughing at, Miss `My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!'
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Monica: Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name.
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you!
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
PHOEBE: Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Ross: God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
Joey: This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand (Holds up his left hand) twice? Huh?
Monica: No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! Were not at a barn dance. Youve gottayou wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?
Monica: You really liked it?
Joey: (impressed) Wow! You look... (drops the cookie)... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness!
Phoebe: Fine, I'll give you her number.
Lewis: I know I didnt do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda hoping you could change my grade.
Monica: Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey groans.) Come on Joey! You cant win if you dont ask any (sees that hes asleep) QUESTIONS!!!
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Monica: in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Rachel: (Resenting the truth) I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we...
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Gunther: Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular.
Joey: We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. (To Chandler) Now kiss her again.
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
MNCA: Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. Ya wanna work out? I can remake you.
Frank Sr.: Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!
BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
Rachel: No please, show me how I begged you!
Rachel (awkward chuckle): Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself.
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Rachel: (to Charlie) Hey, hi! Hey, where've you been?
Ross: Come on Rach, you cant even eat alone in a restaurant.
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Bitter lady: (yelling) Why don't you like me?! Chapter One: My first period.
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.