words in movies
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
CHANDLER: The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put.
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
PHOEBE: Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
RACHEL: [enters from her room] OK, ready when you are.
MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
CHANDLER: Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?
JOEY: So where you gettin' it?
ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
FRIEND: Well, you kids take the train in?
JOEY: Can you believe this place?
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
JOEY'S CO-STAR: Thanks. You want it?
JOEY'S CO-STAR: Yeah, I'm movin' to a bigger place. You should definitely take this one.
JOEY: Yeah, can you see me in a place like this?
JOEY'S CO-STAR: Why not? You hate park views and high ceilings? C'mon I'll show you the kitchen.
RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.
ROSS: Dad, you really don't want to do that.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
PHOEBE: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo?
PHOEBE: OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
PHOEBE: OK, who is the boss of you?!!
RACHEL: You?
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
MR. GELLER: Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
CHANDLER: Well it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.
JOEY: Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinkin' about it.
JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.
CHANDLER: Well then maybe you should take it.
ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?
MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
MRS. GELLER: Jack. Could you come in here for a moment? NOW!
MONICA: Al-alright, l-look you guys, this is the best relationship I've been in. . .
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.
RACHEL: I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours.
RACHEL: You didn't get it?
RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.
JOEY: These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones.
CHANDLER: Well, there you go.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
CHANDLER: Hey, no, I've never been lower or wetter. I'll be fine. I'll just turn your, uh, bedroom into a game room or somethin', you know, put the foosball table in there.
JOEY: Woah. Why do you get to keep the table?
CHANDLER: Alright I'll tell you what, I'll play you for it.
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
MONICA: Oh. Well did you get it? Let me see.
RACHEL: What? You didn't get one.
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
ROSS: You got a tattoo?
ROSS: Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff?
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . [Chandler gives him a look] except when we are here.
PHOEBE: I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you.
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
JOEY: Oh no-no, it's uh, it's not what you think. We uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that, those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs accross the street.
CHANDLER: So, uhh, em, you want me to uh, give you a hand with the foosball table?
JOEY: Naa, you keep it, you need the practice.
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Joey: Youve seen my huge stack of porn right? (Phoebe nods.)
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
Molly: No, where did you study acting?
Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?
Monica: If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, thats your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Phoebe: You guuuyys.
Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Joey: Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention?
Rachel: Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose.
Rachel: Joey, (nervously) where did you learn that word?
Joey: Hey... hey listen... What do you guys know about investments?
Joey: You stepped on my egg roll?
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
ERICA: How did you get here so fast, I just saw you in Salem?
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Aurora: Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too.
CHANDLER: Hey Eddie. Daahh!! What're you doin' here?
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
Chandler: Kinda... you know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys...
Chandler: So you risked your life, for a sandwich!
Chandler: Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
Joey: (to a customer) Are you all finished here?
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.
Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach aches. They come and go like every few minutes.
Mona: Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card. What do you think?
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
ROSS: [holding cream pitcher] Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. [holds pitcher in front of Chandler's chest and flips the lid] Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here?
Phoebe: She is so amazing! You have no idea.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Joey: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean.
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
Monica: Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
Monica: Do you wanna come in for some lemonade?
Phoebe: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.
Phoebe: Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. (A man put some change in her bucket.) Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. (She waves her hand up and down as if she is spreading joy.)
Joey: Only if you think its better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie.
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
Rachel: Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.
Rachel: You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
Chandler: So you dont have the cameras?!
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
MNCA: Oh, you must be freezing. You know what you need? How about a nice steaming cup of hot Mockolate?
Tim: Oh its great! Its great! Thank you so much for introducing us!
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.
Rachel: Hey. Gosh, you look soo familiar.
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Monica: (handing her a cup) Here you go sweetie.
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Monica: Youre really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to necklace of shells hes wearing.)
RACHEL: Oh my God.� I can't believe you live in that building.� My grandmother lives in that building.� Ida Green?� No sense of personal space?� Kind of smells like chicken?� Looks like a potato.
Charlie: You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and (pauses) especially last night...
Joanna: Oh, I mustve said that after you left.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Supervisor: So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can.
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Gavin: Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier.
Ross: (looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.
Monica: Phoebe, what are you doing?
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
Lydia: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Janice: Can I just say, I really admire what youre doing. Just raising her all alone.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
Phoebe: Yeah! You know all those yummy noises? I wasn't faking.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
ROSS: Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape?
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Ross: You told her before you told us?
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.