words in movies
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Joey: No, no... how come you are working here?
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years.
Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?
Rachel: Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just dont get along?
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
Teacher: Good for you. Alrighty, next?
Ross: You know how close women can get.
Chandler: And (he imitates the buzzer) to you too, Helen.
Helen: (Over the intercom) Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
Nina: You wanted to see me?
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.
Ross: Marcel, Marcel, give Rossie the remote. Marcel. Marcel, you give Rossie the remote right now... Marce... you give Rossie the remote...
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
Chandler: Hey, where you been?
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Ross: You okay?
Ross: You wanna watch Laverne y Shirley?
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
Nina: Are you okay?
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
Chandler: (Suddenly bright) Would you like to have dinner sometime?
Rachel: So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
Jamie: So, so youre here too?
Phoebe: Much as you are.
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Chandler: Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Chandler: Im just trying to find the right moment, you know?
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Chandler: You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Rachel: You dont even have cats.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Rachel: Are you seein her again tonight?
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
Mr. Douglas: Youre kidding? She seems so...
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head.
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
Phoebe: Alright, could I just ask you one question?
Phoebe: Have you two, you know... like... you know... you know... yet?
Joey: You meant sex, right?
Nina: Do you have a sec?
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Helen: (Over the intercom) So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
Chandler: Helen drinks. (Insincerely) Will you marry me?
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Monica: Are you alright?
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
Monica: Hon, you gotta talk to Joey.
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
Rachel: No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... (she climbs onto the railing to reach the top of a pole) ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! (Screams.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Chandler: Ugh, we have already proved that we are hot! Okay? So why-why are you getting so obsessed about this thing?!
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.
Joey: Well, I know what Im giving you for Christmas.
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
Rachel: Well, I thought you liked doing it. (Rachel starts out the door and stops.)
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Phoebe: Come on, you guys, you have nothing to lose, I have everything to lose. Do you want me to lose everything? Everything?!
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys!
Joey: (laughing and turning off the TV) So, what did you guys think?
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?
Chandler: Thats awesome! Thats great! What made you do it?!
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
Ross: Thats right, I love you! And-and Im gonna play with you all the time.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
Ross: Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Monica: You do?!
Emily: Well I mean, youre American to start with. You dont even have rugby here.
Joey: Hey, how do you spell suspicious?
MONICA: You should go to the game.� It's okay.� I want you to.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Rachel: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it.
Monica: You thought about that?
Monica: What else did you think about?
Chandler: Sure you do.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Chandler: You sure?
Monica: What are you doing here?
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: Sure! (Thinks.) Umm, where are you from?
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Thank you.
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
Chloe: Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
Joey: Maybe you two should live together.
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Ross: Hey you guys!
Monica: Chandler, please dont think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel
Rachel: OK, thank you.
Joey: Yeah, you too.
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
Erica: Giving you my baby? You think I'd give you my child after this?
Joey: How do you think she's doing?
Monica: Let me ask you a question.
Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Mike: Thank you.
Rachel: Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep.
Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.
Phoebe: Yeah okay, no if it helps you okay. Yeah.
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
David: Really? Because I think about you all the time.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight?
Ross: What are you, a child?
Phoebe: (to Ross) Im telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Joey: What do you like better action or comedy?
PHOEBE: [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
Monica: Daddy! I dont think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex.
Chandler: You don't trust him?
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Chandler: Where you going, Joe?
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Chandler: Oh. You mind if I join you?
Ross: (pause) Youre right, thanks for keeping me honest dad.
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Parker: Why dont all of you tell me a little about your self?
Chandler: Look, you cant call somebody after this long just to say, In case you didnt notice, I dont like you!
Monica: You were just being so nice to him!
Ross: Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Phoebe: No that's just me coughing! (Doing some weird coughing noises and the dog barks again. Phoebe comes out of the room.) Oh, good, there you are! Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.
Joey: So you uh, have a big work problem?
Ross: Okay, Monica. Mon, uh what-what you just saw
Joey: Oh, youre kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? Im an actor; Im kinda getting my picture up there on the wall.
Phoebe: Okay, yeah well, good news, youre going to have three babies.
Monica: Hey Rach, somebody got you shoes!
Rachel: Ahhhh , you brought rats to my birthday party?
Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (They all protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's?
Phoebe: Could you-could you umm, give us one second?
Monica: Werent you asked to leave sonny?