words in movies
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Ross: Whats the matter? You okay?
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Chandler: Do you think you could get through a poem?
Ross: Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Joey: Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, youre not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!!
Rachel: Wait, what do you mean youre getting a new brain?
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Rachel: What? Wait! Why why do you get the story?
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Phoebe: No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.
Dina: Im going to keep dating him Mother, and theres nothing you can do about it!
Dina: What are you going to do? Kill him? Like you did with Charles?!
Jessica Lockhart: (gasps) That was an accident! And so were you.
Joey: That was a great scene! And-and-and that slap looks so real! How do you do that?
Joey: Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.
Cecilia: Youre not the fan whos dying are you?
Joey: An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me
Joey: (quickly) I dont know. Why? Did you hear something?
Cecilia: Who told you that?
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
Chandler: If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.
Rachel: And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!
Phoebe: Ooh, now you lost me.
Rachel: You stole the phone!
Rachel: No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Phoebe: Oh? And how will you know what time to come over?
Rachel: You just said it!
Joey: So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to
Joey: See you in 2003. (She walks away.)
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Cecilia: Oh youre right. Thank you! Whats your name again?
Cecilia: Joey, well thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, excuse me. (She throws her drink on a passing writer.)
Cecilia: (to him) Im having a conversation here! (To Joey) You were saying?
Joey: Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-yel-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, Im really nervous about-about being you. Yknow if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Yknow? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?
Cecilia: All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Cecilia: Youre so welcome.
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Chandler: We heard you play all the way from your apartment!
Ross: Were you the ones called the cops?!
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Chandler: We have heard you play.
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Joey: Oh wellHey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Yknow? Itll-itll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. Youre so talented.
Cecilia: I am. I am, but I dont know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy.
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
Cecilia: (intrigued) You think Im hot?
Joey: You own the room. (She smiles and stares longingly into his eyes.) We should probably get-get uh
Cecilia: No! Its because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?
Phoebe: Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door?
Rachel: (laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.
Phoebe: Could you-could you umm, give us one second?
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Phoebe: Yeah! Youre such a great friend!
Tom: So, which one of you lovely ladies am I going to take to dinner huh?
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Cecilia: Well, you certainly own that room.
Joey: Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you.
Cecilia: Well, its nice to know that you
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Rachel: God. You seem really, really nice.
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Rachel: You are so beautiful.
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
Joey: (flipping to the last page) Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
Ross: now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt.
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Ross: (To Rachel) Do you wanna start telling secrets?
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
Fredrick: Thank you sweetheart. (They clink glasses.)
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Dina: Who are you?!
Jessica Lockhart: Whats the matter Dina? Dont you recognize your own (Does a hair flip) mother?!
The Director: Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that youre a better Jessica than I ever was!
Cecilia: Well of course not, but you were very good.
Joey: Ohh. Wow! Well how-how, how will you be gone?
Cecilia: Yeah, but you can come and visit me. I bet that you could uh, own a few places down there.
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Cecilia: That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. Youve, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.
Cecilia: You too.
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Phoebe: Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Rachel: Nice to meet you.
Monica: Oh please! Why else would you have made out with Ross?!
Elizabeth: Oops! I did not mean to run into you like that sir.
ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
Mrs. Geller: So Chandler, youre parents mustve been thrilled when you told them you were engaged.
Ross: You... you dated Albert Wintermeyer?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Phoebe: It's all right. You can mourn.
Mike: Me too. (He leaves. A few moments later, he enters again.) You know what? I just realised something. I don't wanna go home.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Monica: When Rachel was with Paulo, what did you do?
Chandler: You kissed her that night too?
Monica: Uch, you see, I�m ovulating.
Ross: Nice to meet you.
Chandler: I... I don't know... you seem lovely.
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
Monica: Yeah, come on, eat, whatever you want. Dr. Roger got beeped again.
Chandler: Her ass print is still on your grandmothers quilt, do you really want to talk about smoking?
Joey: You know those posters for the city free clinic?
Ross: What? You - you're making money off my misery?
Monica: And I can't stop you.
Phoebe: Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler.
Monica:: I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! (They hug)
Ross: Why do you care so much?
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Ross: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today!
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Carol: (from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Phoebe: Joseph Francis Tribbiani are you home yet?!!
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Rachel: Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
Erica: Gosh, you know, you're just such an amazing couple. It's... kind of intimidating.
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Receptionist: Then why you work here?
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
RACH: Ohh, OK, OK, OK, well, basically, lately, I've uh, I've uh, sort of had feelings for you.
Rachel: All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Joey: (checking) EH, what do you know!
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET!
Ross: You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid.
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Joey's Hand Twin: Do I know you?
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
Chandler: Why are you here?
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Ross: (on machine) "Hey Ross, it's you!" (Hits the stop button) Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that.
Emily: You are so sweet. (They kiss.)
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Joey: Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving.
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Phoebe: You know it's me?
Phoebe: How can you come here?
Jim: Do you like to party?
Rachel: How could you not tell me you worked here?
Rachel: Good for you Pheebs!
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: What do you mean?
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
CHANDLER: Hey, you just wanna forget about raquetball and hang out here?
Joey: (smiling) Not likely. 'Cause you see that body bag right there
Kate: Yes. Are you one of the retarded cousins?
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Charlie: If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.
ROSS: Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff?
Monica: You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down) Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn�t it? How d�you get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Monica: Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife.
Male Jeweler: Okay. (Holds out the ring, deadpan.) Will you marry me?
Cheryl: Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, that's too bad that didn't work out.
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Joey: Hey, here you go. (Hands her another one.)
Chandler: But you come first!
Charlie: We'll see you, guys! (she goes)
Ross: How do you feel about all this?
Rachel: No you dont know why!
Ross: Oh, that's not what you want...
Joey: yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know.
Phoebe: Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-lifes gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song?