words in movies
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Rachel: Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it?
Monica: How have you been?
Janice: I just came up to say, "Hi!" Hi! (to Chandler) And you, sweetie, Ill see you tonight.
Phoebe: What?! I thought you were crazy about her!
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Rachel: You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
Emily: I cant believe you really walk alone here! I mean, you hear such stories about New York.
Emily: So how are you? Ive been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived but umm, well, Ive been rather busy.
Devon: Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
Emily: Oh my God. I think youre right.
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Ross: Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or somethingor should I call it (In an English accent) football?
Liam: In fact were playing a game at the park tomorrow. Youre welcome to play too if you want.
Emily: Well I mean, youre American to start with. You dont even have rugby here.
Devon: So good then! Well see you at Riverside Park at 2:00! Cheers!
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Janice: Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
Chandler: Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? (Thinks) Yemen. Thats right, yes, Im being transferred to Yemen!
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Chandler: Yknow uh, you didnt really have to help me pack.
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Phoebe: Youre kidding! And he plays rugby?! Thats so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Ross: Youll see.
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Monica: He asked you out?!
Chandler: Yknow you, really didnt have to take me to the airport.
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Chandler: What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
Ticket Counter Attendant: Are you travelling with a child?
Chandler: No. All right, yknow what, shes (Points to Janice) gonna think that Im handing you a credit card, but what Im really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Emily: All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
Emily: No. Thats not what Im saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.
Emily: And uh, Liam, Liams got bad knees. You hit him right and hell go down like a lamp.
Emily: I dont care! You just get him!
Monica: Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought theyd brighten up the place. They do dont you think?
Rachel: And did you?!
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
Ross: No, not you. (Emily gets it.)
Emily: You were amazing out there.
Emily: You really enjoyed yourself didnt you?
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Emily: I think youve got concussion.
Ross: No, no, Im serious. Thank you.
Emily: Youre welcome. (She hugs him tightly and he winces.) Im sorry. Did I hurt you?
Ross: Its worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Yknow what, you know what? Its not.
Janice: Oh, my Bing-a-ling. Ill wait for you. Do you even know how long youre going to be gone?
Janice: Oh. Well, Ill right you everyday. (Reading the address) 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Janice: No! No! I wanna see you take-off.
Chandler: Well, I then guess Im going to Yemen! Im going to Yemen! (To this old woman also going to Yemen.) When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Joey: All right, all right maybe-maybe you should just ask her to leave.
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Chandler: All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday?
Monica: Ok, um, I'll go with you.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Mr. Thompson: So glad you brought someone.
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Phoebe: Hell yeah! Ill marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.)
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Joey: Yeah, you dont want that.
Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
Phoebe: Would you say your pesto is the best-o?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Chandler: What did you just do?
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
Mrs. Waltham: Oh yes, there you are.
Rachel: You were with Julie?
Sleep Clinic Worker: Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. (Joey doesnt answer) Uh, sir? (Joey starts snoring)
Chandler: Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Phoebe: What? You know about the plate thing?
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Phoebe: Well, if you think it will help.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Rachel: I love you too. (They hug.)
Phoebe: (checking her watch) You did it!
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Joey: (With Big Eyes.) All right, youre right. Ill talk to her.
Ross: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
BEST MAN: What, (to Barry) you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. (gets a 'da-doom-chesh' from the drummer) Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...
Monica: You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Rachel: What-what, wait a minute, you don't think that's why he wants me back?
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
CHANDLER: You or me?
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Dr. Mitchell: ..you add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference.
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Matthew Ashford: It was nice to meet you Rachel.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Chandler: Okay! You dont think I thought of that?
ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: Well, there you go.
Doug: Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?
Joey: Oh nowHey Ross-Ross! Do you wanna-wanna come in for a beer or something?
MONICA: Did you ever, uh, like, think about the future?
PHOEBE: Really? You can actually see it?
MONICA: You don't have any stuff.
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Paul: You two were married?!
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
MR A: Oh, that's all right, although you did cut into my busy day of sitting.
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Monica: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.
Mona: Im good except umm, you still owe me a dance.
Joey: Come on man, you know Id do it for you! Because, youre my best friend.
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.
Phoebe: Well, if you don't know I can't help you.
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Monica: Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing?
MONICA: You made it!
Chandler: Well you should be. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater.
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
RACHEL: Thank you.
Chandler: How do you know so much about this?
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: Frankie? What're you talking about?
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
Ross: people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up.
Monica: Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.
Joey: Yes! Yes! You did and youre still yelling at me!
PHOEBE: Well, you have to go back in.