words in movies
Monica: Here you go.
Phoebe: So do you want to hang out or something?
Monica: Phoebe! You kinda caught me at a bad time.
Phoebe: Oh are you and Chandler
Phoebe: Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?
Phoebe: You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre getting a massage! You never let me massage you!!
Phoebe: You told me you hate massages!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Joey: Oh, I love you too.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
Monica: No! Thats where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation?
Monica: Oh, okay. Here, why dont you let me do it?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Monica: Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)
Chandler: (walking casually away) Love you.
Phoebe: (entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!
Phoebe: Why wont you let me massage you?
Monica: Well its I mean Id justId be self-conscious. Youre my friend; Id be naked.
Phoebe: Monica! We lived together for years! Ive seen you naked!
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Phoebe: But Im a professional! And Im really good! Look, if youre uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?
Monica: Okay, if it means that much to you
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Phoebe: (calling from her room) Are you under the sheet?
Monica: Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good!
Phoebe: Stating the obvious, but thank you. And its not weird is it.
Phoebe: Thats right, you just enjoy.
Joey: Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
Dr. Long: No-no. Contractions can be unnerving if you dont know what they are, but shes fine.
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Rachel: But wait you said everything was gonna be okay.
Joey: You sure?!
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Joey: Easy there Captain Kirk. Oh, do you have a bobby pin?
Joey: Then why do you throw like one?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Monica: I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good!
Monica: So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
Phoebe: Okay. Okay but you should know though, Ive raised my rates to $200 an hour.
Phoebe: Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged!
Phoebe: Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Monica: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Great! Okay, if youll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Rachel: (Gasps) Are you breaking up with us?
Joey: Maybe you two should live together.
Rachel: Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here?
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Joey: All right now, so? What do you think?
Monica: (entering) (Gasps) How did you get in there?!
Chandler: (laughs) Youre messy.
Monica: Oh no! You werent supposed to see this!
Monica: No Chandler, you dont understand! (Chandler starts singing the theme for Sanford and Son, an old TV show starring Redd Fox.) Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? Im yknow Im sick.
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Monica: Really? You promise you wont tell anyone?
Monica: Well its just umm Im afraid you might mess it up.
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Chandler: Are you okay?
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you like that dont you?
Phoebe: You want it there? You take it there baby!
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
Ross: So how many more do you have tomorrow?
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Chandler: Yeah, I heard you and Rachel talking.
Ross: Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her.
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Barry: You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren't happy. But with Mindy, now I'm happy. Spit.
Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.
Monica: Wouldnt you be?
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
Ross: Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer?
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Michelle: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?
MONICA: You flicked me first.
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Ross: No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest.
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
CHANDLER: Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey)
Phoebe: Okay Ive got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla?
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
MONICA: Thank you.
CHAN: It's my game. You want the job or not?
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.
Ross: Come on sweetie! Youve had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time?
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Chandler: Which is why you should do it.
RACHEL: You want me to talk you out of it?
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
Doctor Connelly: Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis.
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
Nina: You wanted to see me?
Rachel: No, you know what, I think you should go.
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Passerby: Maybe because youve got the keys?
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
CHANDLER: Well there you go.
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
Chandler: Yes! See you and I have always been like(motions that they think the same.)
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Ross: Im not proving anything. Okay, Im done listening to you. If I hadnt let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place, I never wouldve put my fist through the wall!
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building...
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....
PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.
Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
Ross: What are you talking about?
Ross: You know how close women can get.
Ross: No thank you for Thank you.
MONICA: No. See you don't understand.
Ross: Oh, yeah I know, I know, it's a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here.
RICHARD: Thank you.
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you!
Rachel: I know, I still need to talk to you.
Ross: So uhh, you ready?
Chandler: I hope she throws up on you.
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
CHANDLER: Thank you.
Phoebe: That is so sweet, you guys. (hugs them)
Mrs. Waltham: No, Im bored with you now. Im going to cut you off. (She hangs up.)
Monica: All right, sweetie that's fine. You didn't do it on purpose.
Kim: No. No! You're doing great! Dont you give up! That's why we didn't tell you and we're not gonna drag you down with us.
CHANDLER: Look Eddie, aren't you forgetting anything?
Pete: No! Look, I was gonna tell you this over dinner, but I met somebody else. On my trip.
Friend No. 1: My God, what were you thinking about?