words in movies
Mike: (raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over.
Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs)
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: (while entering) Hi you guys.
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Ross: You too! What are the odds?
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name?
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
Joey: No, thank you.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Monica: See you guys later.
Monica: (to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming.
Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves)
Maitre d': Mr Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table.
Rachel: Oh my God! That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else.
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.
Mr Zellner: Well, you got uhm... good energy.
Mr Campbell: Maybe people... found it weird.... So, why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?
Mr Campbell: You don't?
Mr Campbell: Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Clerk: How can I help you?
Clerk: You need to fill out this form. (motions for the next person in line)
Clerk: It can be anything you want.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Monica: You seriously changed your name to that?
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?
Gunther: Six? You want me to join you?
Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.
Phoebe: Can you?
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Rachel: No, it's okay, you didn't know.
Monica: Thank you for letting us see the house again.
Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.
Realtor: Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. (she leaves the room)
Monica: Ah, so glad you decided to come.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Monica: Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Mike: That's great! You changed you name?
Mike: You really did that?
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Girl: Who are you?
Joey: Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you?
Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Mackenzie: What are you? Eight?
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Joey: Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways.
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Mackenzie: Then you gotta let them go.
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Rachel: Oh, thank you... (looks at his face trying to remember his name)
Man: You still don't know my name, do you?
Rachel: (annoyed) Ross, what is taking you so long?
Mark: How've you been?
Rachel: I'm fantastic. You remember Ross?
Ross: Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... (laughs stupidly)
Mark: Clever. (back to Rachel) So how are you?
Rachel: No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work.
Mark: Are you sure, because we may have something at Louis Vuitton.
Rachel: Well, screw charity work. What've you got?
Mark: (shakes Ross' hand) Nice to see you.
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Rachel: Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him.
Ross: No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him.
Rachel: What? You don't want me to get a job?
Ross: Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his SEXretary.
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Monica: Hey, where have you been?
Joey: Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great.
Chandler: Ha! I'm just messing with you.
Joey: That's not funny! You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Chandler: You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room do you?
Mike: After you, miss Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: Thank you, mister Bag.
Woman: Oh hey, how are you?
Mike: Oh! Why don't you introduce me?
Mike: Why don't you tell her my name?
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
Phoebe: Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Rachel: (entering) Hi you guys!
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens) Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! (slams phone down, then leans back and realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
Chandler: Oh, hey, when she gets here, is it ok if I introduce you two as "my wife" and "the woman who's carrying my child"? (she's not amused) No? Divorce?
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Charlie: So, why did you break up?
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go.
Ross: (laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators?
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Rachel: Make love? What are you a girl?
Ross: No. No-no. No. What would you do next?
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. Im family, Im it. Now, now Im done. (starts to leave)
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Monica: What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day.
Mrs. Burkart: (singing) Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those peepers? Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those eyes?
Matthew: Well thank for coming here, its good to see you.
Chandler: Do you want a calculator?
Rachel: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Ross: It's old, it's definitely old. Didn't you hear the, the double beep?
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was!
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Joey: Well youre whippin so slow! Cant you do it any faster?
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Rachel: Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious ...
Chandler: Stop it! Youre killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
Monica: And what are you laughing at, Miss `My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!'
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Monica: Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name.
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you!
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
PHOEBE: Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Ross: God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
Joey: This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand (Holds up his left hand) twice? Huh?
Monica: No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! Were not at a barn dance. Youve gottayou wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?
Monica: You really liked it?
Joey: (impressed) Wow! You look... (drops the cookie)... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness!
Phoebe: Fine, I'll give you her number.
Lewis: I know I didnt do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda hoping you could change my grade.
Monica: Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey groans.) Come on Joey! You cant win if you dont ask any (sees that hes asleep) QUESTIONS!!!
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Monica: in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Rachel: (Resenting the truth) I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we...
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Gunther: Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular.
Joey: We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. (To Chandler) Now kiss her again.
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
MNCA: Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. Ya wanna work out? I can remake you.
Frank Sr.: Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!
BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
Rachel: No please, show me how I begged you!
Rachel (awkward chuckle): Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself.
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Rachel: (to Charlie) Hey, hi! Hey, where've you been?
Ross: Come on Rach, you cant even eat alone in a restaurant.
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Bitter lady: (yelling) Why don't you like me?! Chapter One: My first period.
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.