words in movies
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
LIPSON: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
CHANDLER: Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery?
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
ROB: You OK?
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
ERICA: Well, here we sit, devil may care, just a little while ago you were reattaching someone's spinal cord.
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
ERICA: I should just be happy to be near you.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
ROB: And you know why? Because you told the truth, and nobody ever tells kids the truth.You were incredible.
ROB: How did you know there was a but?
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
JANITOR: The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya?
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
JANITOR: Lipson knows. Do you have any idea who else knows?
JANITOR: So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?
ROSS: Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
ROSS: But you already told me everything.
RACHEL: Well, so what're you gonna do?
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
ERICA: How did you get here so fast, I just saw you in Salem?
ERICA: Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
ERICA: How, how can you be here and there.
ERICA: Drake, what're you getting at?
CHANDLER: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. [throws water in his face]
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
ERICA: I'll never forget you Hans. [Joey shuts the door in her face]
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
ROB: Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs.
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
ROB: I'm not saying you have to be Barney.
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
SUSIE: Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants.
MONICA: The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop?
RACHEL: Wow, so why don't you go talk to him?
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
VAN DAMME: You don't think I'm cute?
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
VAN DAMME: You can tell her I think her friend is cute.
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, let's try one more. . . there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock.
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
RACHEL: Jean-Claude she said yes, I'll see you tonight. Thank you.
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
MONICA: What did you say?
CHANDLER: Ahh, I believe my exact words were, 'Flaign,en - sten'. I mean I didn't know what to say, how do you know if you wanna do it on an elevator?
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
SUSIE: But um, here's an idea, have you ever worn women's underwear?
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
CHANDLER: You want me to wear your panties?
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
MONICA: You sold me out.
RACHEL: I did not sell you out.
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
RACHEL: Ow, you stop flicking.
MONICA: You flicked me first.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
RACHEL: Oh that's what you want.
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
SUSIE: How you doin there squirmy?
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
JOEY: So what're you guys gonna eat?
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
SUSIE: I want you right here, right now.
SUSIE: If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
SUSIE: Alright. Now I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. Take your clothes off.
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
CHANDLER: Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right?
SUSIE: Alright, turn around. Time to see you from behind.
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
CHANDLER: What, what's what you mean?
SUSIE: My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18.
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
SUSIE: Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. [she leaves with his clothes]
CHANDLER: Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
RACHEL: OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. [She grabs a jar of tomato sauce and Monica's purse]
MONICA: What're you gonna do?
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
MONICA: I'll help you fix your sweater.
RACHEL: I'll help you throw out your purse.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
JOEY: Huh, you uh, you always wear panties?
JOEY: Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
CHANDLER: No, no, you don't have to see.
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
JOEY: Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.
CHANDLER: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
CHANDLER: Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
VAN DAMME: Are you sure, I can crush a walnut with my butt.
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
CHANDLER: How long you been waitin' to say that?
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead.
Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Mona: I mean I love spending time with you, yknow I justI hope were moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Dont you think?
MONICA: So you watched the movies huh?
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
Angela: You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed.
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
Rachel: What are you guys doing here?
Joey: Yeah, well, you don't have your racket.
Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!
Monica: Oh, so you like her too Chandler?
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
Mr. Geller: Well you kids talk about this place so much, we thought wed see what all the fuss is about.
Monica: Would you stop staring at her?
Chandler: Umm, hows it going with you guys?
ROSS: Number six: the way you smell.
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this?
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
MONICA: You got it.
Rachel: She spit up. Judy! She spi�Judy! Look alive, Judy! (they sit down) Thank you.
Cop: Yeah. Ever since you flashed my badge at me, I kinda can't stop thinking about you. You're the prettiest, fake undercover whore I've ever seen.
Rachel: So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?
Tim: I gotta tell you, you look great now.
Rachel: No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!
Monica: No way! You had your party, now I have mine! Is everything alright?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Ross: Perhaps. Now Im curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Chandler: But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettes�no big deal.
RACHEL: Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.
Phoebe: Okay, we have like ten minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?!
Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.
Ross: I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you (Points to Ben) a Merry Christmas!
Ross: Do you think if the Ralph Lauren people offered her her old job back, she would take it?
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside ou...
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when youre wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
Rachel: (starts crying and speaking at the same time, making it almost impossible to understand what she's saying) I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you...
ROSS: But, you are.
Joey: Oh. What do you do?
CHANDLER: Ooh, you almost had it.
CHANDLER: Hey Jo. When'd you start usin' mousse in your hair?
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?
Rachel: Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?
Julie: Rachel, do you have any muffins left?
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Chandler: And (he imitates the buzzer) to you too, Helen.
Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
Chandler: What are you crazy? That's a baby!
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Ross: Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I... we're kind of a thing.
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. And you are a....
Rachel: Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now!
Monica: You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, Im not asking for me, Im I mean No, Im-Im not gay, Im not asking you out. Im not-Im not-Im not gay!
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
Monica: You must feel horrible. Hey! The guys have free porn!
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Rachel: No. What do you do if I say we are coming about?
JOEY: How come you have two?
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
Joey: You dont have to seem so happy about it.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Monica: You had a salad.
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. (Pause) He thinks you hate him.
MONICA: Oh, you look so great.
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
Rachel: Hmm. (she opens the freezer) Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later were gonna be late. We gotta go.
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
RACHEL: Hey you.
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.