words in movies
Phoebe: You guys, why didnt you tell me you were eloping?
Phoebe: Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse?
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
Monica: No, you messed it up. Youre stupid.
Chandler: So what job did you get Joe?
Rachel: Well, how can you be a tour guide, dont you have to be a dinosaur expert or something?
Joey: No, not really. They give you all the information, its uh, its like memorizing a script. (Making like a tour guide) "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.
Monica: Are you serious?
Joey: Youre really thinking about having sex with your brother?!
Monica: What did you tell them?
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Chandler: Youre gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
Monica: Yeah, like youre gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant.
Ross: Pheebs, youre talking about putting your body through an awful lot, I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and its all for somebody else!
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Joey: No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, well be supportive like crazy.
Monica: We just want you to think it through.
Rachel: Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody whos had a baby. Like your mom?
Rachel: You guys are really right there arent you?
Rachel: Why? Just because youre not mature enough to understand something like that?!
(Ross makes an "I was right, and you werent face." And Rachel does Rosss little Im-flicking-you-off-but-Im-not-giving-you-the-finger banging of the fists.)
Ross: And youre afraid you wont be able to fill his shoes.
Monica: Sweetie, with you its gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, cause you-you guys are in love.
Monica: Yeah, you should.
Rachel: Yeah, you should, really.
Chandler: All right, all right, Ill go sleep with my girlfriend. But Im just doing it for you guys.
Phoebe: Wow! You really go all out when youre expecting company.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didnt know that you did pot.
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Joey: Uhh, do you mind sitting there. Im-Im saving this for my friend Ross.
Tour Guide: You mean Dr. Geller?
Tour Guide: Maybe its crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now (Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! Its me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! (to Joey) See, he pretend he dont even here me!
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
Joey: Its no big deal. Hey, yknow, you do what you gotta do. Right?
Ross: Its like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Monica: (to Chandler) So, did you do it?
Chandler: It was fine, yknow? But she didnt agree with me as strongly as she agreed with Joey. She was more like, "I see you point, Im all right with it."
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Monica: All right, Im gonna show you something a lot of guys dont know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All right. Now
Chandler: Look, you dont have to draw an actual wowhoa! Shes hot!
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Rachel: Well if you go to Disneyland, you dont spend the whole day on the Materhorn.
Chandler: Well you might if it were anything like 7!
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Ross: Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but Im having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. Im having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if hell sit with me.
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Ross: All right, there you go!
Joey: Yeah, you hang in there Teddy!
Ross: Okay, good-good for you.
Frank: Yeah, so we just thought wed stop by and let you know theres still no pressure.
Alice: None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, were just gonna be right over there (points to the counter) having coffee.
Alice: You are so precious, I could just take you home.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you?
Frank: Are you serious?
Monica: What are you doing?
Alice: (shocked) Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You dont know what this means to us! Oh!
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
Monica: Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone?
Rachel: Yes. (Pause) Youre not asking are you?
Kathy: Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you! (Runs back to Chandler)
Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?
Rachel: You can?
Rachel: Wow! Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building before?
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
Chandler: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?
Phoebe: (returning) Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!
CHANDLER: Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
Rachel: Joey, youre such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Phoebe: Okay, how do you feel now?
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
Chandler: How did you? How? How?
Monica: Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Joey: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Monica: Youll see.
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Chandler: Oh we did, and you still have all your lamps.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Rachel: Do you remember where the duck food is?
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
PHOEBE: You wanna try it again?
Joey: You have Knicks tickets?
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Ross: Oh, now you want a favour?
Frank: Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you?
Monica: Hey, dont mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop.
Rachel: How?! How do you know?
FBOB: I think you may have a drinking problem.
Monica: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?
Mrs. Waltham: Lovely to meet you.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Joey: What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? (Joey closes his eyes and walks around with arms spread.)
Rachel: Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Joey: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?!
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Rachel: (seeing him) Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there.
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Gunther: Jij spreekt Nederlands? Dat is te gek. Heb je familie daar? (Translation: You speak Dutch That's cool. Do you have relatives there?)
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Guy: You wouldn't return my calls, you sent back my letters....
Chandler: What do you mean?
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
Chandler: You put your fist through the wall?
Chandler: Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it!
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Monica: I knew you were not okay with that.
Chandler: Yeah you are!!
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Monica: Yep, yep...You?
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Ross: Exactly. So you didnt, didnt mention anything to Issac right?
Erica: Thank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't believe I'm here!
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
MONICA: So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag. [walks off]
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
Monica: Y'know what, you can play with my dollhouse.
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Phoebe: Did you stop Rachel?
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...