words in movies
Joey: (impressed) Wow, that was great! You really wrote that?
Monica: It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you New Year's Day.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Chandler: Hey. Where've you been?
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Ken: You can come to my house!
Wendy: So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing?
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.
Chandler: No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Rachel: (Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Phoebe: You guuuyys.
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Ross: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Ross: Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Wendy: Naah... I couldn't leave you alone.
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Chandler: Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!
Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her?
Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys!
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Monica: You do?!
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.
Monica: You thought about that?
Monica: What else did you think about?
Chandler: Sure you do.
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Chandler: You sure?
Chandler: I love you so much.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: (at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing!
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Monica: What are you doing here?
Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.
Joey: Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most?
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Ross: What, you, you really quit your job?
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Rachel: What do you really want to do?
Chandler: I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Thank you.
Ross: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." -- How did you know?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
MNCA: Nothing, just never seen you in little stretchy pants before.
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
ROSS: Woah. Huh. You know about my, I mean, you know I had... you know?
Monica: Oh, thank you. Would you like a tour?
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay. Umm, yknow, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy youre marrying.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Gary: Oh it's nothing, it just says that you can't sue the city if you scrap your knee or y'know, get your head blown off.
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
PHOE: You don't see it? You actually don't see it?
Phoebe: Wher-where have you been?
Chandler: Why dont you just give him to somebody else?
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
Chandler: Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay?
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
ROSS: Good for you.
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
RACHEL: You know.
RACHEL: Thank you. So are we good?
ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man.
MONICA: Are you sure this time?
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Woman At The Wedding: Why wont you take our picture?
Director: And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs)
Phoebe: Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?
Phoebe: Oh! Joey uh, were you in our room last night?
CHANDLER: May I help you?
ROSS: Hi, Julie. [nervous] Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you?
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
CHAN: What are you doing out there?
ROSS: You were in a porno?
Phoebe: No wait! JustOkayJust wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Dont make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
ROSS: What're you talkin' about?
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
DR. BURKE: You too.
MNCA: OK, I'll see you later babe.
Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
Chandler: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You cant just stare through the peep hole for three hours! Youre gonna get peep eye!
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
RACHEL: You know, actually it's more like, hi.
Joey: Where have you been?
CHANDLER: You, you are gonna love this.
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
Joey: So I guess you all saw it.
Elizabeth: Do you want to ride around town on my little pink bicycle?
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?
Kori: And you are...
Rachel: Ugh, the worse day! Yknow, you think youre making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
Monica: I think so. Se, he-he's not inviting you to his party because he likes you.
Rachel: You guys, Im doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try.
Ross: What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.
MACHINE: Here comes the beep, you know what to do.
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
JOEY: Who said it was for you?
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe)
RACH: Good. How are you?
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
Monica: Yeah, good for you. Y'know you're tough, you lived on the streets.
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
PHOEBE: Are you crazy?
Monica: I know youre planning my surprise bridal shower.
Chandler: Okay! (They kiss) So, what do you girls have planned for tonight?
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Monica: Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca loungers gone?! This is the best day ever! (Runs out.)
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
RACHEL: How did you make $17.
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Ross: Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six.
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
(Joey has a "Yeah you do" smile on his face)
Phoebe: She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
ROSS: Thank you.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
RACHEL: Yeah. Who's workin' for you babe?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: No, no dont get mad because lookthis is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!