words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Woman: Hi, Ross.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's day?
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
(Another woman walks past Rachel carrying a wedding dress.)
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!!
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help!
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. (Starts for his room.)
Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
The Croupier: Comin' out. Place your bet. (Monica does so.) Dice are out. (The woman next to Monica rolls the dice.) Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! (Monica won and doubled the chip.)
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Woman on TV: Ow! Ow! Ooh! That hurts!
PHOE: He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious.
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
ROSS: What woman?
The Woman: Wow you look so beautiful! If I knew you, Id cry.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Phoebe: (hearing the signal) Im coming! Im coming! (She takes off towards the signal and almost knocks another woman over.)
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Woman No. 1: Just a sec. (To Chandler and Joey) Hope you find your monkey. (She starts to shut the door)
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Woman: Hey Pheebs! Hows it going?!
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Woman: Im Dutch.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Woman: I can dial 9-1-1 at the touch of a button, y'know. Now, go away!
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Janice: What woman?!
The Smoking Woman: I am not going to apologize to a tree!
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
Woman: Im Margha.
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
Woman: What does that mean?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
The Woman Dealer: Which guy?
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
Woman: Mark!!
PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
Woman: Ginger.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
Mrs. Green: Such a sweet woman.
Woman: Youre no Brown Bird, I can see you through my peephole.
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
The Other Woman: No thanks.
Rachel: (seeing Ross come off the plane with another woman.) Oh my God.
Monica: What are you the memory woman?
MONICA: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes.
Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
(Another sweaty woman comes to the door and speaks to her friend)
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
Joey: (mumbling) Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are sitting at the table, alone as a woman approaches.]
(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
Woman: Mine havent been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now. (Hums then squeals a little bit.) Oh, that was a big one!
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Ross: If only he were a woman.