words in movies
A Tourist: (To Joey) Would you mind doing a picture with us?
Monica: It was, it was really nice. We started talking and I-I ended up having lunch with him.
Phoebe: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Monica: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Rachel: (entering with Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
Ross: Oh so-so you weren't trying to entice me just now with your-your nakedness?
Ross: You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness.
Rachel: Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?!
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Monica: I knew you were not okay with that.
Phoebe: Monica had lunch with Richard.
Chandler: When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it!
Chandler: Fine with me!
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Joey: Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Rachel: (returning with her purse covering her face) All right, it won't come off!
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Monica: Oh, that's because I had lunch with RichMe neither! Okay, what do I want now?
Rachel: Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (She slows down with each one.)
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Joey all nervous and looking down and fiddling with his ear: Oh.. My sister's raccoon.
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Monica: Oh, great! Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces.
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
(Ross wakes up with a start and startles Rachel. The guy next to him starts laughing, which starts Ross laughing, Rachel gives him a look and he stops.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, with the puppy, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Oh, it's so much more fun with you.
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
EDDIE: That's good, that's good. So, so, so who broke up with who?
Mischa: Hes says, Walking with you makes this strange city, feel like home.
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Ross: I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.
Rachel: With ah, extra anchovies.
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
Chandler: My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
CHANDLER: I'm sorry. �That's the one thing I can't do.� I promised I'd be with Monica.
Rachel: Not even with your best friend.
(Phoebe opens the door and Tom, an older gentleman with white hair, enters.)
Rachel: Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Rachel: (to maitre d') Hi, I'm here to see mr Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing.
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married
Rachel: So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. (Kim stops the elevator and turns to Rachel.)
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Monica: I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-ups apartment! Yknow, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?!
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
Joey: (hearing Rachel and jumping up with his plate) Oh God! Thats Rachel!
Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Rachel: This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?
Monica: (walking by with Chandler.) Hey dad!
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
JULIE: Yeah, we figure it'll live with Ross half the time, and with me half the time.
Chandler: Shhh, busy beaming with pride.
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Written by: Seth Kirkland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help from: Darcy Partridge Episodes Orginally Transcribed by: guineapig, Ruth Curran, Mindy Mattingly Phillips, Josh Hodge, Dan Silverstein, and Eric Aasen.
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Rachel: I came with Paul!
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
Monica: What happened to your rule about never sleeping with sick people?
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Doug: Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)
Joey: Hmmm, soup! (Tries again.) Hmm soup! (Tries again, with a little caveman thrown in.) Hmm, soup!
Joey: No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. (Takes out a bowling ball and a propane torch.) Ha-ha!
Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
JOEY: Yeah.� Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee.
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me...
Phoebe: When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure.
Rachel: You were with Julie?
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
(Rachel enters with Paolo, speaking Italian. Ross looks annoyed)
(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Phoebe: So how are things going with you?
Rachel: Im just kidding too. (Laughs) Im getting married in December. (Turns away not happy with herself.)
Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, were happy to do it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
Phoebe: (with her mouthful) Hi Monica.
Chandler: Okay umm, before I meant you I had really little life and I couldnt imagine growing old with
Chandler: Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica!
Chandler: A tall guy with hair similar to mine, oh unknowable universe!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel’s there and Ross enters the room with a stuffed dinosaur]
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Ross: Ahem... I want.... OK, I want to... feel your... hot, soft skin with my lips.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the party continues with Rachel leaning on the counter as Gunther walks in carrying candy.]
Monica: See ya.... Waitwait, what's with you?
Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other?
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
[Another set of flashbacks begin with Episode 521: The One With The Ball, Joey and Ross are throwing a ball around.]
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Chandler: Well it you dont know that, then I dont want to do this with you.
Chandler: I dont know if Ive told you this, but hes kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Rachel: Im fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award!