words in movies
Transcribed by: r3v3LaT1oN with corrections and additional information by Keith Owen
Monica: I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money?
Monica: I guess with you doing the internship, we're just spending more than we're bringing in.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Rachel is fiddling with the drawer.]
(Woman with huge breasts cuts across them. Takes Joey's coffee)
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
Ross: wow, are you still going to move in with him?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey enters carrying a tub of ice cream. He sets it on the table, takes off his jacket and struggles with the drawer. It cannot be opened.]
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Rachel: Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
Ross: I don't know you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so... normal.
Phoebe: Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
Mike: I want to live with you too! Let's do that!
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor]
[Outside the window, Monica and Chandler jog up. Monica playfully pushes him. They start puching and slapping harder and harder until Monica pushes him down. Chandler stands up, with a serious expression, and chases her away.]
[Scene: Joey's at the game show "Pyramid" with host Donny Osmond.]
Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-its no big deal, all right, Im-Im cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes!
Phoebe: No, don't-don't say I'm sorry with porn!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross is having lunch with his father who is examining his next forkful.]
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Chandler: Like finding money with naked people on it!
Chandler: (Proceeding with his dinner) We're teeth people Zack!
Ross: Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Monica: Hey! Okay, so I thought wed start with my make up and then do my hair.
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Joey: I, I dont get you. I mean first, you hate me. Then you sleep with me. Then you want nothing to do with me, now you want me again.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is playing that string game with the two hands and the weird crossing patterns as Chandler enters with the mail.]
Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys.
Chandler: Why cant we talk in here? With, with, witnesses.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: And, we're done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table)
Chandler: Who did you originally want to hook up with?
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
Chandler: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kids pretzel at them.
Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Rachel: Well, I assume Ill have to take showers with him, but y'know, thats true of any job.
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Rachel: Joey, just ignore the boats all right? Were not finished with the lesson yet.
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Chandler: Uh Kathy, with K or a C?
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Chandler: Im not arguing with that.
Joey: Yeah! And you have so many more choices than you do with mens underwear!
Ross: Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Ross: Oh. Whats wrong with Ross?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant.
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
Rachel: With Ross and my sister?
Rachel: What-what?! Youre gonna leave this person with me?!
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Monica: I was frustrated with you!
Rachel: Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Yknow, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.
(Rachel comes out from their apartment with a mirror and a lipstick in her hands)
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Joey: Come on! Youre good with kids. Theyre just crazy on Halloween. Yknow, theyre all greedy and hopped up on sugar!
[Cut to Rachel listening to a phone conversation between Chandler and Monica in The One With All the Resolutions.]
Monica: Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. <pinches Ross' arm>
(Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.)
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
ROSS: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches]
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me.
CHANDLER: [to an attractive woman] I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? [The woman walks away]
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
Rachel: Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with?
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
RACHEL: Saving, saving, saving me from the pleasant conversation with the interesting man, saving me?
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey, bravo! (Starts with that Italian stuff again.)
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Monica: Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl.
TATTOO ARTIST: Alright, blonde girl, you're in room two, not so blonde girl, you're with me.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Monica: Everybody get your toys! (They all run toward the table with toys)
Chandler: Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
Ross: You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness.
RYAN: Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Rachel: No-no-dont! Dont leave me here with these people.
Monica: Oh really? When? Do you wanna do it with me?
Monica: Its harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with!
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
CHANDLER: Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe?
Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!
Joey: Oh yeah, I still cant believe you havent seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.