words in movies
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma in Rachel's hands)
Phoebe: No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the middle.
Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.
Monica: What's the big deal with her? Maybe she's attractive in an obvious kind of way.
Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.
Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right.
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother.
Molly: (with Emma in a basinet) She's out, I'm gonna take her home.
Ross: What do you think you're gonna do, have sex with her right here on my couch?
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: I have nothing to do with casting.
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Phoebe: I-I wanna be with her, (points to the stripper next to her) I like her.
Chandler: Did she go out with him?
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Monica: Sorry. So hows it going with Joey?
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Michelle: Why would he break up with me?
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Rachel: No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy!
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that youre dancing with.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Kim: (to Nancy) So, okay! So you'll come with me on the Paris trip.
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
CHAN: Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Rachel: Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.
(He walks out quickly with Emma in his arms.)
(Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.)
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
MONICA: Yes, because all good plans start with, "I'll go down the fire escape."
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Mrs. Green: I just had the greatest idea! Im gonna come live with you!
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
Joey: What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
(Rachel walks away, pleased with her self.)
Chandler: Bet she'd sleep with you now...
Chandler: The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you?
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Manny: What's with the kissing?
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Chandler: (sees another rack) Well, whats the deal with these? These-these look nice.
Joey: Oh, hey, my pleasure. (he suddenly becomes very serious) So what are your intentions with my Phoebe?
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Monica: Hes totally flirting with you too.
CHANDLER: Hey, sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Mon. (to Ross) I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade?
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
The Wedding Guest: Oh, I used to work with Frannie.
Chandler: Kathys with her parents, I have nothing to do, so tomorrow we are partying with Gandolf dude!
Rachel: So Pheebs, what are you going to do with your $3?
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
Phoebe: So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me.
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Ross: Nice, put it with the others.
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
Monica: A love scene? With who?
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Ross: (with a frozen smile on his face, realizing something's wrong with Jarvis) Ok... now... now we're just holding hands! (pulls his hand away)
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Rachel: What...how is it going with Drake?
Chandler: There's a tape here with Monica's name on it.
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Joey: Uh...well...just once...with you...
Rachel: But honey, I think shes moving in with Chandler.
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Rachel: Oh, that was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane, because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left Philange.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Monica: Oh please! Why else would you have made out with Ross?!
Monica: When Rachel was with Paulo, what did you do?
Ross: I'd lead with that.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that no human can transcribe.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, its Joeys second lesson with Rachel as the resident sailing expert.]
PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Chandler: Well, I then guess Im going to Yemen! Im going to Yemen! (To this old woman also going to Yemen.) When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?
[Rachel, in her bridesmaid dress, complete with hat, which makes her look like Little Bo Peep, and Ross enter]
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Written by: Vanessa McCarthy Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help From: Dan Gottleib