words in movies
Written By: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help From: Aaron Miller
Monica: Do you want to go out on a date with her?
Rachel: (Somewhat angrily) Okay. What the hell was that? You know what? Dont answer me. (Giggling) I have a date with Danny.
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
Monica: Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Joey: You're driving me crazy with that!
Rachel: You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? (Danny nods, "Yes.") Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch!
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah! Oh but, y'know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry. (Leaves.)
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Danny: Oh great! That special bond again! Why do women have such a problem with the fact that I'm close with my sister?
Danny: Are you close with them?
Joey: No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. (Takes out a bowling ball and a propane torch.) Ha-ha!
Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Rachel: Well, I assume Ill have to take showers with him, but y'know, thats true of any job.
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Rachel: Joey, just ignore the boats all right? Were not finished with the lesson yet.
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Chandler: Uh Kathy, with K or a C?
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Chandler: Im not arguing with that.
Joey: Yeah! And you have so many more choices than you do with mens underwear!
Ross: Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Ross: Oh. Whats wrong with Ross?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant.
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
Rachel: With Ross and my sister?
Rachel: What-what?! Youre gonna leave this person with me?!
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Monica: I was frustrated with you!
Rachel: Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Yknow, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.
(Rachel comes out from their apartment with a mirror and a lipstick in her hands)
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Joey: Come on! Youre good with kids. Theyre just crazy on Halloween. Yknow, theyre all greedy and hopped up on sugar!
[Cut to Rachel listening to a phone conversation between Chandler and Monica in The One With All the Resolutions.]
Monica: Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. <pinches Ross' arm>
(Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.)
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
ROSS: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches]
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me.
CHANDLER: [to an attractive woman] I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? [The woman walks away]
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
Rachel: Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with?
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
RACHEL: Saving, saving, saving me from the pleasant conversation with the interesting man, saving me?
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey, bravo! (Starts with that Italian stuff again.)
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
TATTOO ARTIST: Alright, blonde girl, you're in room two, not so blonde girl, you're with me.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Monica: Everybody get your toys! (They all run toward the table with toys)
Chandler: Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
Ross: You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness.
RYAN: Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Rachel: No-no-dont! Dont leave me here with these people.
Monica: Oh really? When? Do you wanna do it with me?
Monica: Its harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with!
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
CHANDLER: Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe?
Joey: Oh yeah, I still cant believe you havent seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?
Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!
Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Ross: Whats up with the greed Joe?
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Joey: No you dont, I just saw you go in there with Monica!
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Rachel: So uh, apparently people are familiar with the Europe story?
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Rachel: Okay! (She goes and gets her surprise and when she returns with it, Ross stares in shock.) Check it out!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
Julie: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?
Monica: A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy!
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Monica: What?! Youre going out with her again!
Ross: Going out with who?
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?