words in movies
Monica: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time!
Monica: (with no hesitation) Sex!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it.
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with?
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!!
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
Rachel: Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
(from 1.18 - "The One With All the Poker")
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'!
(from 1.07 - "The One With The Blackout")
(from 3.09 - "The One With All the Football")
(from 5.08 - "The One With the Thanksgiving Flashbacks")
(from 4.12 - "The one With the Embryos")
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
(from 5.15 - "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey")
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
Joey: (speaking with his mouth full, enjoying his sandwich) What did they say?
Ross: Theres no or in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Rachel: Well, now, wait. Now Im all freaked out. Come on, you guys will watch it with me.
Joey: What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? (Joey closes his eyes and walks around with arms spread.)
RACH: Oh, no, Michael, it's not you. I'm sorry, it's just, it's this thing. It's probably not as bad as it sounds but this friend of mine is, is getting a cat with his girlfriend.
Ross: Please, please stay with me. I am so in love with you. Please, don't go.
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
Chandler: Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! (she leaves)
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Chandler: (entering, with a goatee) Hey.
Monica: I knew you were not okay with that.
Charlie: Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations!
Rachel: Well, well I can up with it!
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Joey: Like the three musketeers, only with fruit.
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Chandler: Oh, yknow what, that might be okay even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel.
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
[Scene: Airport. Madonna's Take A Bow plays in the background as Rachel waits at the gate with flowers.]
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Joey: You, you want me to help you with that?
The Director: Kate Millers awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. (Kate walks away depressed.) Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is (stops, reads it again, and throws down the paper in disgust) Thank you, boys and girls, youve ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mothers crab cakes! (starts to leave) Excuse me!!
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Phoebe: HEY! Mike called were going out again! YAY! YAY! (She dances around with happiness)
Phoebe: Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses!
Joey: Now, dont argue with me
Monica: For your information, ass munch, I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing. (A guy enters holding a pizza box)
Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Lets play some ball, guys.
Ross: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.
Monica: Oh no, she's out having drinks with Carl.
Ross: Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid?
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
Ross: At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
JOEY: You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.)
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
(Ross leaps out of his chair and runs out the door, with Chandler in hot pursuit.)
Joey: Oh sure, go with the sissy.
Monica: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.
Chandler: Oh no problem, maybe Ill play with my left hand.
Rachel: (Running back out the door with her passport.) Bye, Pheebs.
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Hey!
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Big Nosed Rachel: Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. (Ross is overhearing this.) Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Joey: No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
(Phoebe screams in pain, and Frank screams with her.)
Ross: Why, does it look like Im having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form)
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he a good guy?
Phoebe: Ugh, what's right with them?
Joey: No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
Ross: (with a mouthful) That's not bad.
[Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.]
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Conan: You uh, youve worked withThey always say a performer should never work with pets or children.
Chandler: (entering, with Janice in tow) Hello!
Ross: Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Monica: Wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?
Phoebe: That won't go with this dress though.
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Phoebe: No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Chandler: Hey honey, you got the kind with the little girl, you said we were gonna to get the kind with the baby.
Rachel: Do you really not know where Im going with this? (Phoebe nods, "No.") It left! Its one huge room!
The Teacher: Excuse me. Can, can I help you with something?
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Rachel: (entering with Ross) Hi!
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
PHOE: What's with all the bottles of liquor?
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.