words in movies
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Will: Hey!
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Will: Happy Thanksgiving!
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
Will: 150 pounds. Yeah, Im gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.
Monica: A pie! (Will brought a pie.)
Will: Oh right. All right, its no fat, its no sugar, its no dairy its no good. Throw it out.
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
Will: Hey.
Monica: (to Will) Wanna give me a hand?
Will: Sure! Monica, I cant get over how great you look! You look stunning!
Will: Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross!
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Will: Oh.
Will: Nope. Uh, its okay. Its just uh, God I hated her.
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Monica: Will! From high school.
Monica: (to Will) Joey.
Will: Hello.
Ross: (entering) Will!
Will: Ross!
Will: Its good to see you man.
Will: Im a commodities broker.
Will: Yeah, its not. But Im rich and thin.
Will: That was such a fun night!
Will: Yeah.
Will: God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?
Will: So what do you, what do you do now?
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Will: Oh, Ill-Ill be fine. Just God I hate her Ross! I hate her!
Ross: Will, high school was-was a long time ago.
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Monica: Thats Will from high school!
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Hi! Will, right?
Will: Right.
Will: Oh I-I remember you.
Will: You are unbelievable.
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Rachel: All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will?
Will: Oh, youd like that wouldnt ya?
Will: (sneeze talks) Typical.
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Will: I dont know? Do I? Do I?
Will: A little mean? You made my life miserable!
Will: Well you should be. Screw it! Bring on the yams!
Monica: Oh Will. But you-youve worked so hard
Will: Yams!!!!
Monica: Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Will: Oh, it wasnt just me. We had a club!
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Will: Me and Ross. (Points at Ross.)
Will: Yes he was. (Holds up his hand for a high-five.)
Will: You went out with her?! We had a pact!
Will: Then why did it have the word eternity in it?
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Ross and Will: Yeah.
Will: Co-founded!
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Will: Well, we did a little more than that.
Will: We started a rumor.
Phoebe: Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us!
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Will: Could you also tell them Im skinny now?
Will: Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Will: Yeah! (They high-five.)
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Will: Hold on! You got her pregnant?
Will: Are ya getting married?
Will: So you knocked her up but youre not gonna marry her. Dude! (Wants another high-five and Ross ignores him.) Anybody?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck?
Rachel: And that crazy party animal will be your brother-in-law.
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
Cecilia: All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, if we let her stay, she will stay forever!
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Phoebe: Well, if you think it will help.
Chandler: Okay, so you will meet our guys?
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
Elizabeth: I will.
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Monica: (continuing) Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp.
Monica: I will.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Phoebe: I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book.
Phoebe: We will give you $10.
Chandler: So will I.
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Will you take my place?
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Dina: Do you ever worry that youll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
Rachel: Yeah, but you said, "Will you marry me?"
Phoebe: And tell them that in 2 weeks I will once again be a masseuse in good standing!
Anchorwoman: (on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys wont live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.
Ross: (interrupting) No! No, I wont! Ill be at the bottom of the dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four Divorce Guy uh, Murderer Guy, and-and, Geologists.
Rachel: No, I will. Im just not up for it tonight.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Rachel: Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever (She leaves the room).
Phoebe: Listen, Roberts gonna be here any second so, will one of you just tell him?
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
MONICA: Ok will do. So glad you came.
Rachel: Really?! You think that will work?
Joey: Okay, so will you meet with her?
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Chandler: Well, I'll stay, but only because I wanna hear about Hanukkah. Ben, will you sit here with Santa and learn about Hanukkah?
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
Phoebe: Will you get us better gifts?
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Ross: So they said our table will be ready in just a few minutes.
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Rachel: You will like it!
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger.
Joey: Will you quit hoggin it!
PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.
Carol: Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
Rachel: All right. Well listen, if you see Joey will you just tell him uh tell him I miss him. (Exits and Joey enters.)
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Joey: Ohh. Wow! Well how-how, how will you be gone?
Frank: Well, when I tell my friends about her she will be.
Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid!
Phoebe: I-I sure will, take care. (Starts walking off.)
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
CHANDLER: Hear me out woman.� I'll go down the fire escape.� Then, I'll wait for a while.� Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa.� Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
Rachel: (yelling) So youre gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and thats where everybodys gonna be!
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Ross: No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
Ross: Oh whats the big deal?! I wasnt even invited to the ceremony, just the reception. And-and yknow what? If it makes you feel any better, Joan and I will just make an appearance and then, and then well-well leave early as a sign of protest.
Stanley: I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya?
Phoebe: I can and I will! (Kisses him.)
Phoebe: Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Chandler: And the world will never know.
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Joey: Rach, youre killin us here, will ya serve the dessert already? Those drunken dancers are waiting!
Ross: Youre great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there.
Rachel: (entering) Ugh, you will not believe what that sleaze-ball from Ralph Lauren did too me!
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Ross: (quickly jumping away from Elizabeth) Yes, professor Feesen-sen-stenlger Ill be with you in one moment. (To Elizabeth) So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints. (And he ushers Elizabeth out of the office.)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, I think I will.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Rachel: Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. (Exits.)