words in movies
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Will: Hey!
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Will: Happy Thanksgiving!
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
Will: 150 pounds. Yeah, Im gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.
Monica: A pie! (Will brought a pie.)
Will: Oh right. All right, its no fat, its no sugar, its no dairy its no good. Throw it out.
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
Will: Hey.
Monica: (to Will) Wanna give me a hand?
Will: Sure! Monica, I cant get over how great you look! You look stunning!
Will: Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross!
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Will: Oh.
Will: Nope. Uh, its okay. Its just uh, God I hated her.
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Monica: Will! From high school.
Monica: (to Will) Joey.
Will: Hello.
Ross: (entering) Will!
Will: Ross!
Will: Its good to see you man.
Will: Im a commodities broker.
Will: Yeah, its not. But Im rich and thin.
Will: That was such a fun night!
Will: Yeah.
Will: God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?
Will: So what do you, what do you do now?
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Will: Oh, Ill-Ill be fine. Just God I hate her Ross! I hate her!
Ross: Will, high school was-was a long time ago.
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Monica: Thats Will from high school!
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Hi! Will, right?
Will: Right.
Will: Oh I-I remember you.
Will: You are unbelievable.
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Rachel: All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will?
Will: Oh, youd like that wouldnt ya?
Will: (sneeze talks) Typical.
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Will: I dont know? Do I? Do I?
Will: A little mean? You made my life miserable!
Will: Well you should be. Screw it! Bring on the yams!
Monica: Oh Will. But you-youve worked so hard
Will: Yams!!!!
Monica: Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Will: Oh, it wasnt just me. We had a club!
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Will: Me and Ross. (Points at Ross.)
Will: Yes he was. (Holds up his hand for a high-five.)
Will: You went out with her?! We had a pact!
Will: Then why did it have the word eternity in it?
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Ross and Will: Yeah.
Will: Co-founded!
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Will: Well, we did a little more than that.
Will: We started a rumor.
Phoebe: Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us!
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Will: Could you also tell them Im skinny now?
Will: Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Will: Yeah! (They high-five.)
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Will: Hold on! You got her pregnant?
Will: Are ya getting married?
Will: So you knocked her up but youre not gonna marry her. Dude! (Wants another high-five and Ross ignores him.) Anybody?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
Monica: Of course we will, come on we gotta make dinner.
Danny: (To Monica) On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly? (To Rachel) See ya Friday. (He walks out.)
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Rachel: I will not! Im the divisional head of mens sportswear!
Chandler: And there's not chance that will work?
ROSS: Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesnt want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, cause y'know, itll be me. Right?
Ross: I have no idea. I mean But-but I assure you I will figure it out.
Joey: (upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??
Monica: Okay, all right, I think youre great, I think youre sweet, and youre smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me.
Ms. McKenna: Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. Youre gonna love Oklahoma.
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and waters fine.
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens) Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! (slams phone down, then leans back and realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
{Transcribers Note: There was no trailer for this episode. See you in season 8; which will start this fall.}
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Ross: Oh, but he will. He still tells the story how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Chandler: All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if its not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?!
Chandler: (to Monica) Here, pass these, will ya.. (points to the others)
Ross: (answering the phone.) Hello. (Listens) Hi sweetie. (Listens.) Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. (Rachel gives him a thumbs up.) So will you come to New York? (Rachel wants to know what she said, and he gives her a thumbs up and she goes over and hugs him. All the time not knowing what's going on.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Ross: Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
Monica: All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus?
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.
Mr. Franklin: Okay, I hear you loud and clear. Bob will stay put.
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Phoebe: That's okay. If - if we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car.
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Aurora: So... which one of the two guys will you listen to?
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Monica: Okay, I will. Remember that thing that we just discussed that you wanted to do?
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
The Interviewer: Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest will be happy to hear that.
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Chandler: I know its tough now, but things will get better.
Joey: Well do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on!
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: God! She is not stealing from us! Okay, will you let this go?
MONICA: Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns.
RACH: Ohh, well, isn't that just lovely. That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really, really long time.
Monica: Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Joey: I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.
Joey: So whats really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Joey: Imagine a protective porn bubble if you will, okay?
Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.
Monica: You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that hes a-a complex fellow whos unlikely to take a wife! That-that hes against marriage and always will be!
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Charlie: I will if you will.
RACHEL: Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. [dog ignores the sandwich] Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Monica: Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Ross in the living room, rehearsing what Joey will say to Charlie in the Museum]
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
Chandler: We will take a moonlit walk on the Rue de la (mumbles something).
Conan: So that you will intentionally do something thattheyll-theyll intentionally screw it up?
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Monica: All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots.
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Okay, the realtor said another couple made an offer. Maybe the Janice's won't get it! Maybe the other couple will.
Rachel: I'm not gonna gooo, so I think that will accomplish the not going.
Ross: (blows it) Sorry. Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
Monica: Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough.
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?