words in movies
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Woman: Im very interested to find out whos been doing her taxes these last four years.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Rachel: Who is it?
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Rachel: Who?
Michelle: Ah, who is Emma?
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Rachel: Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because shes the only whos impartial, and shes so pretty.
Rachel: Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get?
Rachel: What? Who?
Ross: Who am I?
Ross: All right. (He gently tosses the ball to Chandler who catches it.)
Joey: All right! Who is he?
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Mr Campbell: So... your resumé is quite impressive. (Mr Zellner who sits behind Rachel shrugs)
Chandler: (grabbing the phone) Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. (Listens.) Well, who doesn't love dogs? (Thinks.) Ah, he's a tap dancer! (Listens.) Yes, some would say that is a lost art. (Thinks.) He's a pimp! (Listens.) There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! (Pause.) Hello?
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
Chandler: The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you?
Rachel: Oh, no! Who did that?
Chandler: Who cares? Nobody reads those things
Joey: Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you?
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Phoebe: Who is this?
Joey: Hey guys! Look whos back! Its Ray-ray!
Ross: Who is he?
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Phoebe: Okay, I will. But right after you tell me who the hell you are.
Monica: Alright, who wants to do it?
Monica: A love scene? With who?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's family!
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Monica: Who do you wanna fool around with?
Monica: Who, who are they?
Joey: Hey! Who was up from 2 oclock this morning until 5 oclock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
Rachel: ... Ok, who is this?
Charlie: A guy who won two.
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Rachel: Who (looks around)?
Monica: The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!
Monica: Im Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when youre too big for it.
Chandler: Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monicas gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me?
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
Tommy: (entering, finished with yelling at Ross, who follows him in shell shocked) (happily) Hey!
Phoebe: Who else?
Monica: Who did we fight in World War I?
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her)
Ross: Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times?
Rachel: (puzzled) Who...?
Joey: Tell me who it is.
Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about?
(Chandler runs around behind Ross, who pitches him the ball. Chandler runs upfield, and Joey knocks the ball out of his hands.)
Mike: Who is this?
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
Joey: What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Rachel: Oh! (pause) Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is?
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Phoebe: You have a... You have a date? With who?
Precious: Hi, I'm Precious, who are you?
Monica: But then how do we know who wins?
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Chandler: Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? (Sits up) Who said that?
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Monica: Were just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
Ross: Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen...
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! To who?
Monica: She's only a couple of months pregnant. She liked our application but who knows if she's gonna like us.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Joey: Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun.
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
EDDIE: That's very interesting, ya know, 'cause that's exactly what someone who slept with her would say.
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Rachel: Well, I did my best to convince him that Im not some crazy girl who is dying to get marriedIm just going through a hard time.
Ross: Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna ask? (He gazes out of the window.)
Joey: Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going?
Joey: (eagerly) Yeah, who is that?
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Joey: (whispering) Who do you think its from?
Joey: Uh yeah, where-wheres the guy who decides whos pictures go up on the wall?
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?