words in movies
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross is having lunch with his father who is examining his next forkful.]
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Rachel: Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
(Marcel changes channel to Bugs Bunny, who is speaking in Spanish.)
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Ursula: Who?
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Monica: �A qui�n pidio el pollo General Tso? (Who ordered General Sal's chicken?)
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Joey: Who?
Rachel: Who?
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
(A woman with a steel drum and a guy with a xylophone start playing an instrumental version of "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley. A bridesmaid and a groomsman walk down the isle. Next are Rachel and Ross, who carries Chappy in his arms.)
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Monica: Who cares? He works in a museum!
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Joey: (Approaching) Hey Fun Bobby! Whoah! Who died?
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Sarah: Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
Janice: Oh, look at us! Who wouldve thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
PHOEBE: Really? From who?
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
Rachel: (humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most?
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
Rachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good.
CHANDLER: Who said anything about Christmas?
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
MONICA: Who is also in charge of purchasing.
Guest #2: (sees the cake) Oh my God! Someone cut Howard's cake! (Ross tries dumping it into a nearby plant.) Who would do a think like that?
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Chandler: (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
Rachel: Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. (imitating) "Was it good for you?"
MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
JOEY: Who?
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
Rachel: (seeing whos trapped) Hey
Chandler: So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, maybe she'll like us for us.
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Zack: Uhm... no. Although I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner.
Joey: Whoa, wait a minute. Whos the father?
Monica: Barry who you almost...?
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
CHAN: Yes, yes, but did you see who she was dating?
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Joey: Come on! Who has the biggest boobs?
Girl: Im not gonna tell you! Youre the bad man who broke Sarahs leg.
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened.
Larry: Oh, will you mind if I wash up? Because I came straight from work and who knows where these babies (Holds up his hands) have been.
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
Chandler: My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt. (Glaring at Joey whos nodding.)
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
MONICA: Who?
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Monica: I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us?
JOEY: Who said it was for you?
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
ROSS: That's who.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Ross: (Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs!
ALL: Who?
Monica: (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
EDDIE: That's good, that's good. So, so, so who broke up with who?
Rachel: Okay, who are you talking to when you do that?
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Phoebe: And who else is going to be there?
RACHEL: Ok, who ordered what?
Joey: Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Customer: Do you know who at my office?
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
Monica: And who laminated it?
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
Rachel: Yeah, I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Rachel: No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! (pause) So what's new?
Rachel: I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!