words in movies
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
Sarah: Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.
Sarah: The girl who won last year sold four hundred and seventy-five.
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Monica: Oh. (turns and looks at Joey, who gives a way-to-go thumbs up and smile.)
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Girl: Im not gonna tell you! Youre the bad man who broke Sarahs leg.
Leader: Whos next? (goes over and stands behind Ross, whos feverishly writing on his form, and clears her throat to get his attention.)
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Rachel: Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.
The Interviewer: So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Vince: Uh yeah, I cant believe I ever went out with somebody who would actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooden area. (walks out)
Chandler: Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Chandler: Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though.
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Joey: (entering) All right! Hey, who wants pizza?!
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is waiting for Tim who enters.]
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
{Transcriber's Note: The credits list two characters, Tia and Samantha, who I assume are the sweaty women Joey and Chandler meet. However, I don't know which is which, so I've simply called them Woman #1 and Woman #2.}
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Joey: Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most?
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
Cecilia: Youre not the fan whos dying are you?
Chandler: Yeah I know, guess who beeped him?
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
Ross: (covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Phoebe: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do.
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Joey: Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?
(Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.)
Mike: To see who goes first, you got a quarter?
Rachel: Excuse me! (and she walks back to Joey, who is still looking very impressed about what Ross said to him. Rachel looks at him and hits him.) You didn't tell him, did you?
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
Ross: Look, she loved her job here. And let's face it: you're not gonna find anyone who did it as well as she did it. Isn't that true?
Chandler: Who cares? Its a stupid game.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Phoebe: (looking around) Whos cell phone is that? Its just so annoying; everywhere you go.
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
JANITOR: Lipson knows. Do you have any idea who else knows?
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
Joey: Listen, drama critics theyre nothing but, but people who couldnt make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Chandler: I believe in tall, handsome strangers who hit on my wife!
Ross: No no, this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront. Do you guys know who Carl is?
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Rachel: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
RTST: Well, anyhoo, um, we are looking for a couple of chefs who can create some Thanksgiving-themed recipes. You think you might be interested?
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
Rachel: Really? Who would, who would you marry?
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
The Instructor: Who? Me the attacker?
Chandler: Noho. Who doesn't they like me?
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]
PHOEBE: Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?'
Jack: I told that guy who answered your phone.
Monica: You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that hes a-a complex fellow whos unlikely to take a wife! That-that hes against marriage and always will be!
Joey: Whoa-ho-ho! (He looks at Chandler, who gives him a come on look.) Yeah, okay.
BIG BULLY: Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat?
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
Dana: Yknow who I ran into from school? Howie.
Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.
[Cut to Chandler sitting down near Joey as his mom walks over. His birth mother, not the mother who recently visited one of those clinics in Sweden.]
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Joey: (warily) Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! (Starts to leave) I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut!
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
Monica: No! No-no! He is totally incompetent. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha-ha! Gotcha!"
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
Joey: (to a guy) Bijan for men? (to a guy) Bijan for men? (To a woman) Bijan for... (Sees it's a woman and stops.) (To Annabelle who walks up.) Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.
Charlton Heston: Hello! Whos in there? (He opens to curtain to reveal a naked and wet Joey.)
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Monica: Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]