words in movies
Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Monica: Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal.
Ben: Whens my daddy coming back?
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Melanie: Anyway, that's when me and my friends started this whole fruit basket business. We call ourselves 'The Three Basketeers.'
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Monica: (looking up) Ross, whens this comet thing start?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart!
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Joey: (crying) You didnt cry when Bambis mother died?
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Joey: Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, its like a law!
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Rachel: Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's on the couch when Ross walks to him, with his jacket closed.]
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Chandler: I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Kathy: Wasnt Nick funny when he couldnt get his match lit?
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
CHANDLER: They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.
CHANDLER: That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales.
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Emily: I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the time.
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
ROSS: Hey, tell me again, what do I do when Mr. Roper calls?
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Ross: Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
Chandler: Thats still yours. Okay, now remember its a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
Joey: I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
Monica: Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry.
Chandler: (still on the phone)Damnit. Alright call me when you know more.
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Monica: Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
Rachel: Well, Ill be waiting for you, just come up when youre done.
(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
(They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Joey: Well, when its not right, you know it.
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
Rachel: When the Louis Vuitton people found out that Ralph Lauren wanted me back, the offered me more money! Isn’t that great?