words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Chandler: What?
Joey: (entering, depressed) Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. (Pause, then very excitedly) I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!!
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Joey: What do you like better action or comedy?
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Rachel: (jerks back from the tester) What?!
Monica: Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head.
Dr. Miller: 1 2! (She flinches again.) (Gives up.) Y'know what? You're young; you probably don't have glaucoma.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Chandler: What?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
Joey: (shocked) What?!
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
Joey: Y'know what? I don't need this! Okay? I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break.
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Monica: Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay?
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
Monica: What did you do to his sweater vests?
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Ross: What do you like better flora or fauna?
Joey: What?!
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Chandler: What?
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Steve: You know, I don't know what I'm looking for.
MONICA: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: What?
Ross: What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.
Emily: Why dont we what?
Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.
Rachel: So tell me, what are Joey Tribbianis end of the night moves?
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
Rachel: Aah! Why? What are these for?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Chandler: (shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so I�m feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
Susan: What do you see?
Chandler: What about things that are already gold?
Carol: What does he look like?
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
Monica: (opening it) Whats this?
Ross: Whats a scrud?
Fran: Whats she doing here?
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like?
RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.
Monica: Okay. So what do you.... you think she's faking?
Joey: What do you mean?
Monica: What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Phoebe: Remembered what?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Chandler: All right, lets break this down. What exactly did he say to you?
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies?
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
Man: (confused) What?
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
Rachel: Now the filet mignon, what comes with that?
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Monica: What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
Ross: Yknow what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, its not absolutely vital that you live with us.
Monica: Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?
Rachel: You know what?
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Carl: What?
Ross: What?! What? How do you, how do you even know its broken?!
Joey: Oh what then? Kick me?
Chandler: Sorry! I-I-I dont know what to say.
Monica: What did they do to you?
Rachel: What?
Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
Joey: What up?!
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
Chandler: Yknow what? I-I kinda have.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Phoebe: Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out?
Joey: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an optionwhat's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!
Ross: Umm, say youre gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Monica: What? I didn't say anything.
Rachel: What?
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Ross: What?
Chandler: Argh! I can't believe what you did. Monica's gonna kill you!
Ross: What?
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!
PHOEBE: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
Chandler: Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.
Chandler: All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday?
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oh, all right. What did I have?
Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!
Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!
Joey: oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. (Nods)
Chandler: What did you just do?
Rachel: What?!
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Monica: Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?
Monica: Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all.
Chandler: Can I check out what she did to my room?
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)