words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV, and we hear Mr. Treeger in the bathroom.]
(Joey sits down and changes the channel, and we see two people making out.)
Chandler: Do we pay for this?
Joey: No, we didnt even pay our cable billmaybe this is how they punish us.
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Joey: Maybe we shouldnt pay our gas bill? (Stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
Chandler: We dont know what could make this go away.
Chandler: We still have porn.
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
[Scene: Beth Israel Medical Center, Phoebe is at her OB-GYN doing an ultrasound, Rachel is with her. We here the babys heartbeat.]
(The heartbeat changes, and we hear a different one.)
The Doctor: Have we talked about the possibility of multiple births?
Alice: Were gonna have a big family, Ive always wanted a big family!
Frank: Why would we be freaked?
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Frank: Yeah, yknow when we found out we were going to have a baby, yknow I figured yknow like I should yknow have like a careerand I love refrigerators!
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
Chandler: Hi! Listen, can we watch cartoons on your television? We need a porn break. We spent the last two hours watching In & Out & In, Again.
Chandler: Because then we would be the guys who turned off free porn.
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Rachel: Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised
Phoebe: Okay. You know how people need transportation, but they also need massages to help them relax so I just figured we could combine the two, okay, I give the massages and Frank drives! I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back, and you know what Ive got?
Chandler: Are we in London?
[Cut to London, we sit Ross sitting outside Emilys apartment. We hear Emilys phone ring with amazing clarity. Apparently, sound travels quite easily through the walls of British buildings. Anyhoo, Ross looks around for the ringing phone and in the meantime Emilys answering machine picks up and once again with amazing clarity we hear Emily say ]
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
Chandler: We have free porn here!!!
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
Tag: No. We had a really good talk. I dont think Im gonna do that bar scene anymore.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's what we do.
Rachel: We weren't doing anything!
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Frank Jr.: That's not what we talked about!!
Rachel: Well, what would we be doing?
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Rachel: Okay, well, we brought you some wine.
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
Phoebe: Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we?
Chandler: We have to leave!!
Monica: Oh hi! Hi! Yknow, we were just talking about bacon.
Chandler: No. No. Were not gonna do that, yknow why? Because its not an even trade.
Monica: We weren’t picking up, it’s Amanda!
Phoebe: All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys?
Ticket Counter Attendant: Ah, sir a ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we dont take library cards.
Monica: When were we not friends?
Monica: Ehm, we were friends in 1992.
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Monica: Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Monica: Were just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do?
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
PHOEBE: Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. [Flings the dog off and jumps in the cab. The dog keeps jumping up to the window.] Ok, alright, we have a problem.
Phoebe: I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
Chandler: (on machine) Youve reached Monica and Chandlers, if youre listening to this message, were probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.
Rachel: Well, we are ready to try anything.
Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?
RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?
Monica: Clearly we were wrong.
Ross: Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go.
Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we’re getting rid of her.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Wendy! (Listens) Yeah, eight o'clock. (Listens) What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?... (Listens) OK, great. (Listens) All right, I'll see you then. Bye. (hangs up)
JOEY: Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out.
Monica: But the minute we start to lie to each other (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.
Joey: Actually we prepared performances.
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Monica: Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we!
Monica: Because! Shes my cousin. I mean, we grew up together! Were family yknow? Well thats important to me.
Ross: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Joey: (he thinks a little, considering the option and seems to be quite satisfied) I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I’ll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. (he looks absorbed in his food thoughts) What were we talking about?
Joey: Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
Phoebe: Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy, leafy.
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Krista: Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up!
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Chandler: That's funny, we were doing the same thing!
Phoebe: You guys, we�ve been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Chandler: Ok, ok, here we go.
Monica: Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us.
Ross: Here we go! (He starts pushing Emma)
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
Woman: Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl.
Chandler: No, no! We made this decision together.
Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think were gonna have some fun.
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?
Joey: How late are we?
Ross: Yeah. What are we gonna do?
PRODUCER: Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here.
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Mr Campbell: Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
Monica: So were gonna try? I mean, are we trying?
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Rachel: Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Yknow, start the heeling process?
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Monica: We don’t?
Rachel: We got some really great stuff!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Joey: Listen that�s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it.
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
Woman: We were surprise that we werent invited.
Phoebe: We didnt have sex.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Joey: Yeah, and you know what? We could do a lot worse.
Monica: Hmm, I dont know. We really have to talk this through.