words in movies
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Rachel: Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.
Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Rachel: Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?
Rachel: Well umm, maybe we could uhh (Grabs the phone) Ah-ha! Too slow!!
Joey: No. No, Im Joey Tribbiani; we did a scene together yesterday. I-Im the guy in the coma!
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: We heard you play all the way from your apartment!
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
Chandler: Because we hate them.
Chandler: We have heard you play.
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Joey: You own the room. (She smiles and stares longingly into his eyes.) We should probably get-get uh
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the mans face. (She does so.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
Rachel: Well be right back sir.
Phoebe: Wh-what do we do?
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
Monica: (yelling after him) We will!!
Joey: (pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Charlie: No, we went to the left.
Chandler: She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Charlie: Wha, you know, maybe we can do something else!
Rachel: Oh! What are we gonna do?
Phoebe: Ooh! We have a problem.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
ROSS: Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that.
Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions)
Monica: Who did we fight in World War I?
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Monica: And! We also have speaker phone. (She turns on the speaker phone.)
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Monica: I am so glad you guys got together, Chandler and I are always looking for a couple to go out with and now we have one!
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Rachel: We can't. We're not pharmacists!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Chandler: That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Elizabeth: Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips
Monica: But then how do we know who wins?
Joey: Oh well, she said we have nothing in common.
Joey: No, it's not, we have nothing in common!
Chandler: Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!
Ross: I'm sorry... we... we can't.
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Joey: Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do?
Ross: No! And somehow, we ended up with a joint checking account.
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
Tag: No. We had a really good talk. I dont think Im gonna do that bar scene anymore.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's what we do.
Rachel: We weren't doing anything!
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Frank Jr.: That's not what we talked about!!
Rachel: Well, what would we be doing?
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Rachel: Okay, well, we brought you some wine.
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
Phoebe: Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we?
Chandler: We have to leave!!
Monica: Oh hi! Hi! Yknow, we were just talking about bacon.
Chandler: No. No. Were not gonna do that, yknow why? Because its not an even trade.
Monica: We weren’t picking up, it’s Amanda!
Phoebe: All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys?
Ticket Counter Attendant: Ah, sir a ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we dont take library cards.
Monica: When were we not friends?
Monica: Ehm, we were friends in 1992.
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Monica: Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Monica: Were just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do?
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
PHOEBE: Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. [Flings the dog off and jumps in the cab. The dog keeps jumping up to the window.] Ok, alright, we have a problem.
Phoebe: I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
Chandler: (on machine) Youve reached Monica and Chandlers, if youre listening to this message, were probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.
Rachel: Well, we are ready to try anything.
Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?
RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?
Monica: Clearly we were wrong.
Ross: Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go.
Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we’re getting rid of her.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Wendy! (Listens) Yeah, eight o'clock. (Listens) What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?... (Listens) OK, great. (Listens) All right, I'll see you then. Bye. (hangs up)
JOEY: Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out.
Monica: But the minute we start to lie to each other (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.
Joey: Actually we prepared performances.
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Monica: Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we!
Monica: Because! Shes my cousin. I mean, we grew up together! Were family yknow? Well thats important to me.
Ross: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Joey: (he thinks a little, considering the option and seems to be quite satisfied) I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I’ll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. (he looks absorbed in his food thoughts) What were we talking about?
Joey: Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?