words in movies
Chandler: (To Monica) Shes not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Chandler: No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
Monica: All you had to do was buy the card!
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Rachel: Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
{Transcribers Note: There was no credits scene with this episode.}
[Cut back to Joey in bed, he's smiling, enjoying the dream as he wakes up. Suddenly, he realized what he was dreaming about and bolts upright in bed.]
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Phoebe: Oh, I took Larry there to eat but it was all violated. So we shut it down!
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say.
Phoebe: That wasnt a date! That was, that was just friends getting together (quietly) having sex.
Phoebe: You really thought it was perfect?
Rachel: Well, well, you said it was practice!
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
Joey: (indignant) I was tired!
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
Rachel: (laughing) What was that?
Monica: Oh, I don't know. Maybe, um, "That was nice?" Admit something to me? "I'll call you?"
Monica: I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn�t have sex with me while we�re fighting.
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Joey: Heh... I was bluffing.
Ross: It was a dry day.
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
Monica: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
Phoebe: How much was it?
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Monica: I was frustrated with you!
Ross: Yeah? I was good at the stuff huh?
Phoebe: Oh, exellent. Everyone was so, so nice.
Chandler: That was like 5 years ago.
Rachel: Was she good?
Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Monica: That is so sweet. I know that I was acting a little crazy but umm, I feel the same way.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Joey: Hey, y'know in Roman times this was more than just a hat.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Frank Sr.: So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
Jill: Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug!
MNCA: Oh, he's sober alright. Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
Chandler: Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?
Chandler: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. (She starts to take off her latex gloves.) Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on.
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about.
Ross: Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!"
Ross: Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be?
Morse: (walking up) That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair cut?
Caitlin: Oh my God! That was flirting?!
Monica: Oh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. (Pause) Maybe someday, there will be.
Chandler: What was tonight?
Monica: You dont want to know what tonight was.
Monica: I was kidding.
Chandler: So was I.
Ross: It was, it was okay.
Ross: It really was!
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Ross: Yeah, what, what was I thinking?
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Rachel: What the hell was that?!
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost.
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
PHOE: He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Phoebe: Oh my God! How bad was it?
Ross: That was you?
Monica: Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant!
Elizabeth: Yes you did! What was it?
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Ross: (half amused) Wait, wait, (looks around a little) You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.
Rachel: Well, it was a little extravagant, but I a pretty good deal.
Monica: Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did.
Janine: No, I just thought it was cute.
Joey: Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!
Monica: Oh, it was awful. (To Chandler) I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.
Joey: Oh, it was great! Yeah, I-I walked her home, and it was amazing how much we connected, y'know? Then ah, then she passed out, but then she woke up. Yeah? And we stayed up all night talking, and now were like totally crazy about each other!
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
Ross: Look, I didnt think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up.
ROSS: [on the phone] Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.
Rachel: Yeah, one time, when we were dating, uh we got a late checkout, he got so excited it was the best sex we ever had. Until yknow, he screamed out Radisson at the end.
Bonnie: I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head.
Monica: Was it...
Phoebe: Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid.
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Chandler: Yknow I am the groom right? I was told it was kinda big deal.
PHOEBE: No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . .
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.