words in movies
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
LIPSON: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
ROSS: I was thinkin' about it.
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
ROB: How did you know there was a but?
PHOEBE: I sense these things. It was either but or butter.
JANITOR: Oh, yeah, right. There was a break-in, few months back, inside job. Your monkey was taken.
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
RACHEL: No, was he any good in it?
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
CHANDLER: No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows.
SUSIE: OK, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating?
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
CHANDLER: No one was around to hear that?
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
SUSIE: My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18.
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute.
CHANDLER: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
Monica: Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can�t get enough.
Joey: We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing...
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Chandler: (entering, slowly) Yknow I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
Ross: Was your basket on top?
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Gunther: Oh, I was going to offer you my apartment.
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Chandler: Ooh! Ahh, Pheebs, was gonna tell a story.
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Joey: Sorry! Sorry, Im late; sorry, Im late! My duck and my chick and a fight, it-it was ugly.
Joey: Sorry, that was wax.
Rachel: All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!
Monica: Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida?
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Rachel: And the ring, was the size of my fist (makes a fist)!
Rachel: He was right there. He got down on one knee and proposed.
Chandler: Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Joey: Well, this-this-this was great. Didnt everybody have a great time?
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Monica: It was a really beautiful service.
Rachel: Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin at him.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
{Transcribers Note: There was no credits scene with this episode.}
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Monica: Oh nothing Im justjust was yawning. (Mimics the groan from before and stretches.)
Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, (tiny laugh) I put mine.
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
RACH: Yeah, what're you saying, you just sort of put away feelings or whatever the hell it was you felt for me?
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Rachel: Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup.
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Ross: All right, lets not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them.
Gunther: Im sorry. Was I not supposed to?
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Monica: Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again?
Phoebe: I guess it was kinda funny.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
Monica: Wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?
Ross: Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.
Ross: There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired.
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
Joey: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990?
RACHEL: Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
Ross: C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact!
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
Rachel: Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!
Monica: I was just waiting for the perfect guy.
Chandler: Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used.
Ross: ...Now that was fun.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
Phoebe: Well the Lions technically won, but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay Mermen.
David: Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-
Larry: Yeah, I was just kidding.
Chandler: What was that?
Pete: So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about.
Ross: That was good.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
Rachel: Yeah! Ive been sailing my whole life. When I was fifteen my dad bought me my own boat.
Monica: Was he wearing a stunning blue suit?
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You dont want to break her heart now do you?
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Barry: I'm sorry... I'm sorry, God, I am so sorry, I'm an idiot, I was weak, I couldn't help myself! Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much!
Monica: Was it...?
ROSS: Oh, see from where I was sitting I uh. . .
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Monica: I wanted it for years! I was gonna make cookies for my children.
Missy: Sure, he was in your "band"? (she air quotes band)
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Chandler: (gasping) Yes... thank you. That was... that was....
Ross: (to Monica) Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas.
Ross: and the miracle was that that little bit of oil that shouldve just lasted just one day, burned for
Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
Monica: Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldnt look so bright.
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Frank: Well, you, wait no, my Mother didnt want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.