words in movies
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
The Waiter: No.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Customer: Hey, waiter.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
The Waiter: Hey!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: Okay.
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Waiter: Champagne?
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Waiter: Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: Ooh...
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Waiter: What?
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?