words in movies
[The waiter comes to the table.]
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: What?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: And for you?
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
The Waiter: No.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Customer: Hey, waiter.
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)