words in movies
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
The Waiter: Hey!
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
The Waiter: No.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Customer: Hey, waiter.
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Waiter: Champagne?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter: Yeah.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: What?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
The Waiter: No, its really good.