words in movies
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: What?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
The Waiter: No, its really good.
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: And for you?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
The Waiter: No.
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Customer: Hey, waiter.
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!