words in movies
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
Ursula: Well, then who's been dead for five years?
(Ursula resumes eating her lunch..)
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Phoebe: You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!!
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Ursula: (Surprised) Oh.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
Ursula: Right.
Ursula: Who?
Ursula: He is? Why?
Ursula: Oh!
Ursula: You have not changed!
Ursula: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Ursula: No Im not.
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)