words in movies
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Eric: Ursula?
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
Phoebe: You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!!
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Ursula: Well, then who's been dead for five years?
Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
(Ursula resumes eating her lunch..)
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Ursula: (Surprised) Oh.
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: You have not changed!
Ursula: Oh!
Ursula: Uh-huh.
Ursula: Right.
Ursula: Who?
Ursula: He is? Why?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Ursula: Who is it?
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Ursula: Hey!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Ursula: Who is it?
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Ursula: Hey!
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)