words in movies
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Ursula: Well they could be true.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Ursula: Who is it?
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Eric: Ursula?
Ursula: Hey!
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Ursula: Yknow, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)