words in movies
Monica: Alright, I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip.
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
David: I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Rachel: (looking out the window) What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
[Scene: Mike's apartment. His phone rings and he picks up]
Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Rachel: (picking up another random badge) Kate Miller?
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
[Scene: Ross's room. Charlie is sitting on the bed, while Ross is walking up and down nervously]
Charlie: So, why did you break up?
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
Joey: Uh... Charlie and I broke up.
Joey: (sitting up again) I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me!
Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about?
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Joey: (stands up) I just have one question!
(Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away)
Charlie: Uh, well... Joey and I broke up.
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Monica: Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing?
(Chandler goes out into the hall and lights up a cigarette.)
Michelle: Why would he break up with me?
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
Rachel: (On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up)
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
[We close with a bunch of scenes where they screw up and make weird noises. It finishes with.]
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
CHAN: Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it.
Phoebe: oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.
Tag: Oh, Im sorry. (He bends over to pick the stuff up.)
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
Rachel: Okay. Uh, well can we, can we get you anything Mr. Zelner? Maybe some chocolates? (Holds up the box.)
Rachel: Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.
(Rachel hangs up in disgust.)
Monica: Sush!! I cannot believe she is still up there.
(He picks her up.)
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
PHOE: Look, I, y'know, I don't mind taking it slow, I like him a lot, y'know he's really interesting and he's really sweet and why won't he give it up?
Rachel: Uh-hmm. Im just thinking about Phoebe; poor knocked up Phoebe.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Rachel: Yeah, were, were actually just gonna walk cause its right up there at the Angelica.
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
Chandler: (awakens) Yeah! (Looks up and does The Face.)
(Monica is getting up from the couch)
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
Rachel: Oh! So you're driving up to Connecticut?
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
(Phone rings, Chandler picks up)
Joey: Youre gonna mess it up let me do it.
(Molly gets up and walks away)
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Monica: Ohh, he's really shy. I-I dont think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Chandler: (getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out whats going on.
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
(Goes over and picks up the remote.)
Paul: Oh, here they are right here. (Picks them up from underneath the corner of the couch.)
Chandler: Ok, how about this (picks up the remote control)?
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay, Raymond, Joey you're up.
Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
Joey: Hey! Who was up from 2 oclock this morning until 5 oclock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
(Ross and Joey both reach down and pull up their pants.)
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.]
[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.]
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Everyone: No!! Cover it up!!
Chandler: She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Monica: (walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
(Rachel gets up and heads for the rest room.)
Rachel: Oh, oh thanks. Alright well, now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
Steve: Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor) Oh, sorry. (When she bends down to pick it up he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the cabinet.)
Ross: Hey, I just realized we kinda let some stuff up in the air
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Charlie: So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions?
Joey: No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?
Joey: Well, just wake him up!
Receptionist: This has been torn up.
[Outside the window, Monica and Chandler jog up. Monica playfully pushes him. They start puching and slapping harder and harder until Monica pushes him down. Chandler stands up, with a serious expression, and chases her away.]
Phoebe: Mike and I broke up.
Chandler: Uhm, thank you, but we're really trying not to get our hopes up.
(She gets up and goes over to Chandler who's ordering some coffee from Gunther.)
Monica starts crying: Thank you. It was so beautiful. <gets up and walks towards the front door> I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies.
Joey: Im up all night!
Joey: Yeah right! (Gets up for a refill to his snow cone.)