words in movies
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Monica: <laughs> Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the queen.
Joey: Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm.
Chandler: What are you going to do?
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
Amy: oh... hi.. <goes to Rachel with open arms>
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
Amy: Is this Emmett? <pointing to EMMA>
Amy: Not really. But you are much cuter then that geeky guy she used to date.
Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me.
Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. <to Rachel> It was your fat friends brother with that bad afro, do you remember?
Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. <spins finger around in circle> All me.
Joey: Hey happy Thanksgiving.. Pheebs! <motions her to come over>
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Amy with straight hair: Oh she's precious. Do you ever worry she's going to get your real nose?
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Amy: Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi.
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Ross: Sure, you want to go upstairs?
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond.
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
Rachel: Ross, you know what? She may need one..We're just going to have to make our peace with that!
<Rachel grabs Ross' hand for support and starts to cry a little>
Ross to Monica: Hi.
Monica to Ross: Hi.
Monica to Emma: Hey you.
Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Amy: Connected? I mean.. to what? She's.. she's a lump.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Amy: <points to Chandler> This guy? Seriously?
Monica: Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. <pinches Ross' arm>
Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt.
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that.
Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this.
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
Ross: well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents.
Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her?
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent.
Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict.
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up.
Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly?
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Chandler: Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"?
Chandler: You said that to me last week.
Back to Monica and Chandler's apartment.
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too.
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. <pauses> Uchh <louder this time> In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer.
Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear.
Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? <back to Amy> I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
Amy: Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby?
Amy: Because you don't want me to be happy. You.. you have always been jealous of me.
Amy: Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Amy: No! What are you going to do? Make me?
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
<They go back to fighting and then it really gets on>
<Amy runs towards Rachel and Rachel puts her arm out, hand on Amy's head and Amy starts trying to hit her but is missing, Rachel is moving backwards towards the table when her hand swipes the one plate left on the table on to the floor>
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Monica starts crying: Thank you. It was so beautiful. <gets up and walks towards the front door> I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies.
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
Amy: So you're going to give me the baby?
Rachel: Uh. No.. I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
Amy starting to cry: You are not going to regret this.
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs.
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
(He tries to put it on her finger.)
Joey: Well, anyway, I got to go change, Im ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks.
Chandler: You're not actually supposed to stop on the bridge.
Rachel: What do you really want to do?
(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Thank you.
Monica: Chandler, please dont think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel
(Emma starts to cry)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)
Monica: Hey, they dont pay me a penny a word to make friends.
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
[Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey]
Ross: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.
Joey: This is so exciting for her. Well, Ill let you two fash ists get down to business. (Exits.)
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Phoebe: To kill Bob??
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Joey: Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Gavin: Pleased to meet you.
Chandler: Look, you cant call somebody after this long just to say, In case you didnt notice, I dont like you!
Monica: Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight?
Monica: You were just being so nice to him!
Phoebe: Okay, yeah well, good news, youre going to have three babies.
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Ross: We have to stop them before something happens!
Rachel: What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
Joey: I came over here to tell you guys.
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Gavin: Yeah, hey. (comes in to the balcony)
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Rachel: Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me.
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
Ross: So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Joey: That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, (To Monica) same as the day before.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
David: Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didnt think you were coming.
Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him.
Monica: Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in.
Helena: (disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So youre bald?
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: I have nothing to do with casting.
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Joey: Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?
Joey: Ahhh! I heard "I do", were halfway there! Okay! (To Bobby) You!
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Elizabeth: Yeah! Im just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends.
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Ross: Don't you have to be at work?
Gary: Okay, now I've really have to go!
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Monica: Okay. (They walk away to get some privacy.) We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.}
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Gavin: Yeah! But you said not to worry about...
Joey: So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
Gavin: Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there.
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Phoebe: Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing.
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
Joey: No! No, you smell like a meadow. (Pause.) I'm sorry. (Runs to the bathroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Stripper: So is that a bedroom? (Points to the guestroom.)
Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do!
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Rachel: Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get?
Chandler: (really try not to laugh) Good to know.
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Michelle: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Rachel: Oh, that�s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Ross: I never gave it to you.