words in movies
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Mr. Treeger:: Cause youre a little princess! "Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing Happy Birthday to me "
Rachel: (starting to cry) Okay, Im sorry. (Runs out still carrying the pizza box.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
Rachel: Thats easy for you to say, you werent almost just killed.
Chandler: Oh yeah, gym member. I try to go four times a week, but Ive missed the last 1200 times.
Chandler: You dont think Ive tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria.
Chandler: Oh Maria. You cant say no to her, shes like this lycra spandex covered gym treat.
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
Ross: So youre strong enough to face her on your own?
Chandler: Oh no, youll have to come.
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
Phoebe: Oh please, somebody tell me I dont have to go to work today!
Phoebe: Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that Im not allowed to charge for.
Chandler: Why dont you just give him to somebody else?
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
Phoebe: I dont what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to leaqve)
[Cut to later, Joey is returning from talking to Mr. Treeger.]
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Monica: I told you not to go down there!
Rachel: Thats not true! (Starts to cry.)
Monica: Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like youve never sucked before!
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Chandler: Okay. (They go inside) (To the guy at the desk) I wanna quit the gym.
Gym Employee: You do realize that you wont have access to our new full service Swedish spa.
Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a Be strong sound.) I wanna quit the gym.
Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to Ross) are you a member?
Chandler: (horrified at the prospect of trying to quit alone and unsure about himself) I wanna quit the gym.
Gym Employee: (to Ross) So, are you a member of any gym.
Gym Employee: Okay, no problem. (To someone out of the picture) Could you come here for a second?
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Phoebe: Oh. (She goes to work, and her head slowly drops out of view.)
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
Mr. Treeger:: You want me to kick you guys out instead?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Rachel: Yeah, right, he almost danced me right down that garbage chute. (Starts to cry)
(Rachel starts to laugh.)
Monica: Well, you could actually go to the gym.
Ross: Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Like-like when Im doing something exciting and I dont wanna get too excited, I just ahh, yknow try to thing of other things like ah sandwiches, and ah baseball, and ah Chandler!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, dont we need to do some kinda preparation first? Like ahh, get really drunk?
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Joey: I dont know how to lead.
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
Ross: Wed like to close our accounts.
Chandler: No, wed just like to close them.
Bank Officer: Okay, Ms. Lambert handles all our closures. (to a beautiful woman) Would you come over here please?
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay, slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little Oh nowait no, no! No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Ricks pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, thats working.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
(They start to kiss, then Rick stops suddenly.)
Phoebe: (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)
Chandler: To pay for the gym.
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Joey: (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
Mr. Treeger:: Thank you, listen, thanks a lot Tribbiani, (checks watch). Oh my God, look at the time, I gotta catch the bus to the ball.
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, thanks but no. You see I-I think Im ready to dance with girls.
Mr. Treeger:: Right. (Starts to leave) Hey, ahh, you wanna come? Marge has a girlfriend.
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
(He tries to put it on her finger.)
Joey: Well, anyway, I got to go change, Im ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks.
Chandler: You're not actually supposed to stop on the bridge.
Rachel: What do you really want to do?
(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Thank you.
Monica: Chandler, please dont think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel
(Emma starts to cry)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)
Monica: Hey, they dont pay me a penny a word to make friends.
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
[Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey]
Ross: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.
Joey: This is so exciting for her. Well, Ill let you two fash ists get down to business. (Exits.)
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Phoebe: To kill Bob??
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Joey: Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Gavin: Pleased to meet you.
Chandler: Look, you cant call somebody after this long just to say, In case you didnt notice, I dont like you!
Monica: Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight?
Monica: You were just being so nice to him!
Phoebe: Okay, yeah well, good news, youre going to have three babies.
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Ross: We have to stop them before something happens!
Rachel: What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
Joey: I came over here to tell you guys.
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Gavin: Yeah, hey. (comes in to the balcony)
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Rachel: Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me.
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
Ross: So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Joey: That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, (To Monica) same as the day before.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
David: Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didnt think you were coming.
Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him.
Monica: Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in.
Helena: (disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So youre bald?
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: I have nothing to do with casting.
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Joey: Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?
Joey: Ahhh! I heard "I do", were halfway there! Okay! (To Bobby) You!
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Elizabeth: Yeah! Im just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends.
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Ross: Don't you have to be at work?
Gary: Okay, now I've really have to go!
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Monica: Okay. (They walk away to get some privacy.) We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.}
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Gavin: Yeah! But you said not to worry about...
Joey: So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
Gavin: Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there.
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Phoebe: Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing.
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
Joey: No! No, you smell like a meadow. (Pause.) I'm sorry. (Runs to the bathroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Stripper: So is that a bedroom? (Points to the guestroom.)
Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do!
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Rachel: Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get?
Chandler: (really try not to laugh) Good to know.
Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me.
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Michelle: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Rachel: Oh, that�s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.