words in movies
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Lisa: From time to time.
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
Chandler: Oh uh-uh, no-no-no-no-uh-uh. (He starts laughing, causing everyone else to laugh.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
Joey: Ha-ha, very funny. I dont know what to do! Yknow? Holy crud!
Joey: Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Look, I dont know what to do! (Long pause, as everyone cracks up.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut to Central Perk, first season Monica is talking.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are talking.]
Monica: Sorry, lets go back! Cause youve got more to say.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Conan: But there must be, there mustare a lot of moments over the years where youre just trying to do your job, something goes wrong.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
[When he hears Jennifer try to open the door he jumps back, and Jennifer is unable to open the door this time.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center Joey is exiting from his room.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Jennifer: (to Lisa) Operation. You had a fun one.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Conan: You could actually see him trying not to fall down.
[Cut to Central Perk, same as before Joey is entering.]
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
Matthew: I dont necessarily like to juice things
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Richard: Noo! I came down here to tell you something else. I came here to tell you I still love you.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Conan: Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a monkey
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a soap opera with Marcel.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Jennifer: Katie. Geez! See Katie, come hereKatie! (Katie spills some popcorn.) Katie, come here Katie. (She obeys and sits where shes supposed to.) Very good.
[Reset, theyre about to start the scene when Katie suddenly jumps up startling Jennifer.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Rachel: No yknow, I dont want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Jennifer: (to Lisa) Ready?
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Conan: (to Matt) You bastard.
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]
[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney and Matthew are getting ready to do a scene where Monicas sick.]
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
David: Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to hear my sons first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasnt supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Matt: And then sometimes during the show yknow but youre like, the scenes going one way but youre just tempted to say something another time. Like, do you remember that one where Monicas baking cookies in our old apartment?
Jennifer: Shes trying to intrigue us to hang out with her.
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the scene described above.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Matt: I think I was supposed to say, "I dont know," and go over and open the door. And I went
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, same scene.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, same scene.]
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Conan: (to Courtney) You-youve worn a fat suit on the show. And, a lot of people love you in the fat suit. Do you like wearing the fat suit? Is it fun?
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney is dancing in the fat suit and after shaking her groove thing sits down in exhaustion.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
(David puts his napkin up to his mouth and starts laughing at his own line. Matt notices him after a while and starts laughing as well.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Monica: Are you saying that you dont want to get with this?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Joey: Oh yeah, and shes really nice too! She taught me about yknow, how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Conan: When you have to do physical business for a scene, I mean there must be; there must be a lot of funny moments when you have to physically do a task as part of a scene.
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
[Cut to the scene described above.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Matthew: It is when were able to crack each other up.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Matthew: Well thank for coming here, its good to see you.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
[Cut to Monicas work kitchen, shes on fire again and Joey is putting her out.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: Wait! Youre supposed to wear a costume!
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
Ross: She does want to.
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Ross: What? (to Sophie) Sophie, does she have ten minutes?
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (starts to light another cigarette.)
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Monica: I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too.
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
Ross: Ugh, shes saying good-bye to her uncle.
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
[Cut to Chandler's room, Joey is relaying to Chandler his amazing discovery.]
Phoebe: Why dont you go up there and ask him to step lightly, please?
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Chandler: Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Chandler: This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!
[Cut to the hallway.]
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Ross: Okay, I don't think it's going to pivot anymore.
(Joey throws the ball to Chandler)
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Pete: Hang on a second. (to the employees) Ill-Ill talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) Im sorry what?
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
Joey: Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work.
Janice: (starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!
Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Chandler: Ill give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Rachel: So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?
Monica: Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad.
(Another little girl walks over to him.)
Chandler: See Joe, we want you to tell stories but yknow, romantic stories. Nice stories.
Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Ross: Please, he refers to me as wethead.
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Pete: Dont worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponents strength and weight against him.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
Chandler: Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack.
Chandler: (picks it up) And now Ive picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Joey: Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! (Holds up the piece of paper bearing the proof of his ordination.)
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.